When will I stop needing this? 2be: I was okay last night and so-so this morning. But I feel it coming on... the ache in the chest, the lump in my throat, the disconnected thoughts. And I come here to OJAR and read about people going through similar pain and anguish. I pray there are new topics to keep my mind busy. Sometimes it helps knowing I'm not alone, but like today... it doesn't. It makes me sad. And I am alone.
When will I NOT need to come to OJAR? When will this stupid pain end? I'm tired of feeling like crap, of feeling like I can only put one foot in front of the other, of feeling like a zombie, of feeling the weight of the corners of my mouth pulled down into a constant frown.
I'm tired of going to the bathroom at work and crying. I'm tired of going out into the world and pretending like I'm enjoying it by myself. It just seems so fake. I live in one of the most beautiful places on Earth and I feel removed from it, filtered through this pain. Yeah, so what that I went and shot pool by myself. Whoop-Dee-Do. All I did was prove I can be miserable in a public place by myself rather than sit at home and be miserable.
And look... it's another weekend. I'm forcing myself to drive 4 hours tonight so I can spend the weekend with my parents... just to have someone around.
Today sucks.
Re: When will I stop needing this? icwtsmnl: wow, do i know THAT feeling....
Re: When will I stop needing this? sosad05: It gets better. I can go weeks and be fine then fall into a rut over the xh. Its been a year but we were together for 14 years. A little hard to just erase someone from you memory who you were with since high school and have children with.
The gaps in between good days and bad days slowly gets longer. Eventually, you'll meet someone new that you are intersted in and you'll feel better.
((HUGS)))
Re: When will I stop needing this? fkunone: [quote author=2be link=topic=30548.msg303278#msg303278 date=1151082044">
I was okay last night and so-so this morning. But I feel it coming on... the ache in the chest, the lump in my throat, the disconnected thoughts. And I come here to OJAR and read about people going through similar pain and anguish. I pray there are new topics to keep my mind busy. Sometimes it helps knowing I'm not alone, but like today... it doesn't. It makes me sad. And I am alone.
When will I NOT need to come to OJAR? When will this stupid pain end? I'm tired of feeling like crap, of feeling like I can only put one foot in front of the other, of feeling like a zombie, of feeling the weight of the corners of my mouth pulled down into a constant frown.
I'm tired of going to the bathroom at work and crying. I'm tired of going out into the world and pretending like I'm enjoying it by myself. It just seems so fake. I live in one of the most beautiful places on Earth and I feel removed from it, filtered through this pain. Yeah, so what that I went and shot pool by myself. Whoop-Dee-Do. All I did was prove I can be miserable in a public place by myself rather than sit at home and be miserable.
And look... it's another weekend. I'm forcing myself to drive 4 hours tonight so I can spend the weekend with my parents... just to have someone around.
Today sucks.
[/quote">
Seems endless, I know. But it happens in cycles. Shorter cycles soon. So, you'll stop needing this and end up wanting it. Then end up w/ yourself, all full of yourself to be yourself and find someone to share it with, in all good health and love.
Buck up brah.
Re: When will I stop needing this? snkpack: Ojar's like crack. I'm way over my divorce and I'm still here. ::)
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