Hmmm... That was weird. Fjord Girl: I asked my boss if I could leave work a little earlier today because I just didn't want to be at the office; I was moody because there's a long weekend coming and I hate those. As soon as I put a foot outside the plant I started crying. I cried on and off during the 45 minute drive coming back home. I cried when I got home, I cried while I took a shower. Then I tried calling my mom (who happens to have magic dust to make me feel better), but she wasn't at home and her cellphone was off. I then knew I had to do something to get out of the funk, all by myself, and I chose to do something I hadn't done since October 2004: I went to the movies... ALONE! It was a grandious first time ALONE at the movies for me.
I watched "The Lake House" -- Not Oscar material, but a cute movie about soul mates and all that crap I've become cynical about. It weirded me out because of a few stupid coincidences with my current life, but that's not important now. There were some parts of the movie that made me cry, though. First when the girl mentions how hard it is to live a life where nobody waits for you at home because that's exactly what's making me feel so miserable these days. Then when they say that sometimes you just have to wait for the right person to come along, even if it's for a long time because I'm starting to believe that day will never come for me.
Then there was a happy ending... Then the lights went on and I realized "OMFG... My husband's not here with me!" -- That felt absolutely weird. Last time I went to see a movie, he was there. On my way home I did what "we" did after a movie and stopped at Tim Hortons to get me a coffee. Now I'm here, alone again... Naturally. No, I don't miss him now, but I still feel weird.
Did going to the movies make me feel better? Yes, for a little while. Now I'm back to my sad mood, which I hope will leave me alone soon, which I hope is just some kind of weird out of date PMS. I've tried very hard to learn to be alone and I've done it well for the last 8 months. This ain't the time to go back to old patterns. Nuh huh.
Re: Hmmm... That was weird. JNA: Sometimes it takes a time to get over hurt ok...
Give yourself "time"
One day at a time...
JNA
