Just when you think you're free.... Ezzy: I kicked my cheating husband out.
Not 6 hours later he's messaging me asking me to go for coffee and 'talk'.
I said no.
The next day, he was back at it.
I gave in and said yes.
Surpisingly enough I was in a good mood when I saw him and he was put out because of this.
"I guess you don't need me anymore." he moped at me.
I gave him a piece of my mind on that topic and he actually got this attitude like I had offended him!!!
He was actually pissed off that I hadn't thrown my arms around him and told him how much I had missed him !!!!!
That made me laugh out loud which just made him angrier.
We parted again.
And again he contacted me.
The conversation was long and unpleasant and this time the end result was that we were going to make an HONEST try to reconcile and repair our marriage.
Of course, it remained for him to tell his wh*re. So he left to tell her the news.
Get this. He was gone for 3 HOURS and then when he came back he strolls in and tells me he ISN'T coming back after all.
So I swallowed the molten lava in my soul and said "fine goodbye." but he wouldn't leave. I kept telling him to go but he kept saying "I don't know what to do." and I kept tell him "I don't care what you do but you can't do it here get out."
After 15 minutes he decides again that he wants to stay with me. He tells me the wh*re cried at him for 3 hrs and made him feel bad so he just couldn't tell her no.
While we were talking, the ow comes to the door telling him to 'hurry up'. He informed her that he wasn't going with her, and she started demanding he leave with her. I told her to get lost or I'd call the police and shut the door in her face.
(can't tell you how good THAT felt)
Since then we have been working on being married again.
I have put every effort into being the best person I can be. Being positive, being upbeat, being kind, being involved and interested in what he's doing. Trying to be aware of him and his needs.
And what have I gotten in return?
He spends every spare moment playng an online game and ignores me. Yesterday I caught him accessing the "secret" email that he shared with the ow!
He claims he was just answering her questions and saying goodbye because 'he owed her that.'
We are starting couciling this week but I have little hope.
I don't even believe he's stopped seeing his f**ktoy.
But what in the hell does he hope to gain?? I mean really? The stupid b**ch worships the useless f**ktard. I have no money, nothing worth anything. I have a car and the ow doesn't. I have the possibility of keeping in this country. She can't help him in that department.
I honestly don't know why he's still here... except that he really has no where else to go.
When I kicked him out, I really thought I'd feel like absolute s**t. That I'd be sad and miserable and lonely.
But I wasn't. I mean I know there will be times of saddness due to the loss, but I was genuinely feeling BETTER about myself! Like a great weight had lifted from my shoulders.
Now, I feel like some kind of idiot who asked for more weight to carry.
Any words of wisdom?
???
Re:Just when you think you're free.... Babydoll: Gosh, this is a tough situation, really tough. I understand you wanting him back, trust me I do. I understand giving him another chance--if you really feel there is hope for change and happines. But honestly, it sounds like you have doubts yourself. You are not sure if he's stopped seeing his wh*re, he flip-flops about whether or not he wants to be with you, you are making all the effort while it sounds like he's trying to coast thru this.
And I'm sorry, but "he owed her that"? What about what he owes his wife? You sound like you were ready to move on when you first kicked him out, trying to move on. I guess the thing is are you will to stay in the same position you were in before?
When I kicked my stbx out when I found out about his ugly, old wh*re, he begged and pleaded. He had no one and no where to go. My reply to him was "you obviously had somewhere to be last night, so go be there". It killed me to watch him walk out the door, I wanted so badly to run out and beg him not to leave, that we would work it out. But, I didn't simply because, I wasn't going to beg someone who could betray me and lie to me so easily.
I know this isn't much help, but just do what's best for you.
Re:Just when you think you're free.... Ezzy: It helps a lot :) Thank you.
There'll be no begging on my part.
When he returned to tell me he had decided he was leaving anyway... I said fine goodbye.
That threw him. He wanted tears and begging. He won't get it. I am willing to be reasonable. We made a comittment when we married. I am willing to accept my part in the breakdown of our relationship.
I am not willing to play games or deal with wh*res or his own weakness and stupidity.
I want to work on things. I would like a spouse who feels the same and is able to tell the truth. >:(
Re:Just when you think you're free.... Babydoll: Ezzy,
You DESERVE someone who loves you and is truthful and is willing to work at a relationship.
**hugs**
Re:Just when you think you're free.... jason_stl: Ezzy, make sure you are trying for the right reasons and not the wrong ones.
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