Re: re: I finally got the truth-the worst day yet DOK: Her cheating, and the subsequent breakup, was by far the worst time of my life (and we had a cr@ppy marriage before all the infidelity came to light). Charbie, you are now faced with a long road ahead, full of depression and despair and grief and anger and sadness and hopelessness - - - but finally, finally you will find acceptance - - - and then, happiness. And my god what a happiness it is, if you are willing to take the full journey to it's conclusion. There is an incredible, wonderful life awaiting you on the other side, but as difficult as it is, you've got to descend now into the depths of hell, and force your way through, to reach that destination.
Svcks, huh?
But so many here have already taken that journey, and have succeeded. Ojarians are some of the few people that I know that really understand what I went through. I kind of found this site after I'd been through the worst of the pain, but it still helped me - A LOT! They can help, a shoulder to cry on, a back to bear your burden for a few hours. Use their help, it is priceless.
I just watched the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy. My favorite line from the movie (which might help you as you embark on this terrible journey) is when Gandalf is talking to Frodo in the Mines of Moria (I think), and they are discussing the journey that Frodo is about to undertake:
Frodo: "I wish the ring never came to me."
Gandalf: "So do all who have carried its burden, but that is not for us to decide. All there is to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."
So now Charbie, it is for you to decide.
Good luck, god speed, and oh, by the way, kick the dirty rotten b@stard to the curb as soon as you are emotionally able - he deserves no less!
Re: re: I finally got the truth-the worst day yet Lumpy: That's the plus side to this. His character (or lack of) is revealed. Do you really want to waste your love on someone who can do this to you? Ultimately this will help you to let him go. You have to value yourself more than him at this point. Nothing you have done justifies the lies.
Re: re: I finally got the truth-the worst day yet MikeB: I agree with Lumpy - for the most part. The knowledge that it was in his character to be able to do this to you (and actually do it) will make it easier in the long run... to develop negative sentiments towards him... or discard the old ones.... but at least in the short run, it will add to the pain and frustration that you trusted him with your heart and that you didn't notice that he was capable of doing this (I know what I'm talking about :()....
But to reiterate what Lumpy wrote "Nothing you have done justifies the lies" ...
Take care,
-Mike
Re: re: I finally got the truth-the worst day yet charbie: Thanks again all, Lumpy you really hit me there with a good one. That seems to be the harsh reality of cards I have been dealt huh? I thank you for being honest and not trying to pacify me. I just want to know, how do people survive this kind of loss in their life?? Like I said I am so empty and dead inside :(**** All I keep doing is stopping and going into a coner in between taking care of my kids and just crying my eyes out. This does suck!!!
Re: re: I finally got the truth-the worst day yet larry: Hi Charbie,
If you need to cry, then you need to cry. It'd be unhealthy not to. In fact, the more you do, the sooner you can be whole again. You must grieve to survive. Do NOT feel ashamed to do it. There is no quick solution. Only time. And that's the best healer of them all. I'll keep you in my prayers for strength. God hears you and, in fact, is carrying you through this as we speak. :)
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