too many ups & downs LostTeacher: i am tired of this road right now.
i turned down going out for supper and a movie with my friend and her brother. i was just tired.
i am a little bummed, i am a little blue.
it seems like this happens every time something really good takes place.
yesterday was grad for the kids i teach. we go to the dinner and dance, and then go out together afterwards. i wore a nice dress, had lots of compliments and pictures, and had a great time.
so what happens today?? i send all morning in bed (not because i was hung over, because i was tired), and all afternoon lying around. i couldn't get moving, i couldn't shower, i just didn't want to do anything.
i am trying not to feel so damn sorry for myself. i mean, things are going actually really good for me. i did really good getting my marks in early. i've been super busy. i've been having fun. i am moving into a great place in two week.
but i am lonely. and scared. and lonely.
i am starting to get sick of being alone. friends/family having babies,a lot of bad nights at the bar, no matches at a speed dating evening, and a best friend that is totally infatuated with a boy.....starting to get to me.
i DO NOT want to feel jealous, mad, sad. i want to be happy.
i just don't......just not tonite.
i am just sitting here, drinking a beer, checking online. wishing that i wasn't alone...even though i put myself in this position. i could have gone to dinner and a movie...i could have gone to the bar with some guy friends, but i just needed to feel sorry for myself for an evening.
thanks for listening.
LT
Re: too many ups & downs sosad05: LT...I'm sorry to hear you had a bad night. Sometimes, I guess you just have to go through the feelings so they dont get bottled up inside. When you're divorced, it seems like EVERYBODY around you is married. But, I think its a perception thing too. I remember being married and thinking everyone is divorced.
Well, I hope today goes better for you. Try to focus on things that make you feel good.
((HUGS))
Re: too many ups & downs JNA: [quote author=LostTeacher link=topic=30600.msg303897#msg303897 date=1151214284">
i am tired of this road right now.
i turned down going out for supper and a movie with my friend and her brother. i was just tired.
i am a little bummed, i am a little blue.
it seems like this happens every time something really good takes place.
yesterday was grad for the kids i teach. we go to the dinner and dance, and then go out together afterwards. i wore a nice dress, had lots of compliments and pictures, and had a great time.
so what happens today?? i send all morning in bed (not because i was hung over, because i was tired), and all afternoon lying around. i couldn't get moving, i couldn't shower, i just didn't want to do anything.
i am trying not to feel so damn sorry for myself. i mean, things are going actually really good for me. i did really good getting my marks in early. i've been super busy. i've been having fun. i am moving into a great place in two week.
but i am lonely. and scared. and lonely.
i am starting to get sick of being alone. friends/family having babies,a lot of bad nights at the bar, no matches at a speed dating evening, and a best friend that is totally infatuated with a boy.....starting to get to me.
i DO NOT want to feel jealous, mad, sad. i want to be happy.
i just don't......just not tonite.
i am just sitting here, drinking a beer, checking online. wishing that i wasn't alone...even though i put myself in this position. i could have gone to dinner and a movie...i could have gone to the bar with some guy friends, but i just needed to feel sorry for myself for an evening.
thanks for listening.
LT
[/quote">
We all need our Down Time...
Looks like you are in one
It is ok for you to feel sorry for yourself at times...We all do that ya know...
"Lonely" HUH
Well you can talk to me anytime you like...
But then again you know that right
Stay Strong
JNA
BTW...
The Beer doesn't help...
IMO
:P
Re: too many ups & downs brokenbaby: It is totally okay to feel sorry for yourself for an evening!
This happens to me too after something goes well or I have a good time. I think it's because I am carving new memories in my life without him and it is not something I ever expected to have to do. So the new memories and the good times right now are really bitter-sweet.
You wont be alone forever LT, you are too great a woman for that!! The problem is the right ones are a little slow to come along.
Hope you are having a better day tomorrow.
Re: too many ups & downs LostTeacher: thanks guys. it's been a bit better today.
i had some friends over for a swim, and my girlfriend asked me to join her family for sunday dinner. it was her sister's bday, and we had a good time.
it's been a quiet evening. i did some laundry, made some food for the week...it was ok.
i know that it will happen when it happens. and you're right, i never thought i would be making memories without him. espeically when all my past memories are with him.
i need to get myself out of this funk, and i think it's starting. i have moving day coming, two new jobs on the horizon, a few concerts....time to just go with the flow for a while.
thanks for listening guys. i know where i have some true friends.
LT
