Is it ok to move on lanywu: On sept 25,2004 i got the worse news ever there was a car accident and my husband of two years had been killed the man that i love and care for with all my heart the father of my kdis. which i have heard you can fill death coming i not sure if that is true but the day before the accident my husband had set me down and began to cry telling me how much he loved me and the kds that evreything he did was for me and the kids all day he held me and told me how much he loved me i ahve never seen him more interacting with the kids that friday night we went out and just enjoyed ourselves when we came home he held me and the kids all night in the bed not sleeping he just keep telling me how much he loved me and would not let the kids sleep he just wanted to play with them after i begin to yell at him about keeping the kids up he let them sleep i keep asking him what was wrong for him to be telling me he loved me he just keep saying i need you to know that i love you then he turned to me saying "laura if you find someone that will make you happy in life promise me that you will be with him that will make me happy to see you happy" i then looked at him telling him you make me happy he then said i might not always be here i told him to stop i had already begin to cry because he was crying looking over me and looking over the kids rotating giving us all kisses we had just had a baby 5 wks before his first son he stood over his crib with tears dripping from his eyes i was vrying i was not sure what was happening here i keep asking him what was wrong why he was the way he was i asked him are you going to leave us he said i will never leave my family i will always be here and near we did not sleep all night that next moring he went out to go get a hair cut when he left he made me promise i will be happy in life then he screamed i want the world to know that i love my wife then he hopped in the truck as he drove away he smiled and said i love you girl take care and i will see you around a couple of hours later the cops pulled up on his way home he was making a left hand turn and a girl combing her hair dropped the brush and ran into the truck causing it to roll over and he was not wearing a seatbelt so he was ejected from his seat and out of the window
i never thought i would loose him he was my best friend my love my life he was everything i still would look at the kids and cry every night asking all the questions that i will never have answers to i was 24 and a widow wow
this is where i need help i have meet someone know since his death i have meet alot of people mostly pushing them away i felt i was not ready when i ahve been crying still every night but when i meet him i cant beging to explain how he makes me feel i never thoiught i could feel this way and the kdis like him he makes me happy and i find myself not crying as much
the thing i hate about myself is that i think i love him and i ask myslef was he sent to me for a reason i dony know sometimes i want to push him away because i feel he is taking me away from thanking about my husband and i dont want noone to replace him in my heart the guy tells me he loves me and my feelings are strong for him now i ask you is it wrong to move on and love again it has been almost two years since his death
Re: Is it ok to move on Batman: I hereby give you full permission to move on.
Re: Is it ok to move on LNC: lanywu:
Sorry for your loss, you have my deepest condolenses. I can empathize in having someone close to you pass on to the other life. From what you wrote, I think you will always have that special place for your husband and truely believe no one will ever replace your love for him. However, you can love again and be happy, afterall that is what your husband wanted for you. He may have sent somebody that would be worthy of your love and be able to love your children. If this new person has made you feel special again, go for it. You deserve happiness and love.
-LNC
Re: Is it ok to move on Duckiew: oh lanywu..
it is such a blessing that you have loved and were loved and you should always cherish that. but you can't live the rest of your life thinking about good life was...you will always love your husband, and your children will always love their father...but this is about your future.
if you think you have found love/happiness again then grab on tight and don't let it go.
A friend once told me that people who tend to be depressed or unhappy in life are so because they either live in the past or in the future and never experience the present.
Life is fragile, and to live each day fully is a waste of your life. It sounds as though your husband knew that. He would have wanted you and your children to experience life fully.
You have to learn to be happy for yourself and your kids and don't feel guilty...
Re: Is it ok to move on larry: i've never experienced what you're going through, but i can tell you love is a precious thing. and if you can find it again, you should take hold and never let go. you do have permission, and it is ok to move on. it's all up to you though. you need to be doubly honest for you and your children. if you use your head, and you know you're not ready, then stop quickly before either of you gets hurt.
however, if you are just reluctant because of some other reason other then knowing you're not ready, then you should evaluate it and see if you're just being prideful or for some reason other then a legitimate one. pray for wisdom and you'll get it. search your heart and use your head. in the meantime, keep spending time with your children, but don't use them as an excuse to not be happy again. your children are your priority, but you do have a right to be happy too. just have to balance it all out. :)
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