Blind sided when she left!! m6ttm6n: I am new here. I have been seperated since Feburary when my wife walked out on me and my daughter. Our divorce should be final within the next few weeks as long as she stops trying to screw me financially. I am getting custody of our daughter because my ex wants to party all the time and doesn't want any resposiblilties with anything. Yes she has found someone new which from what I hear there are many new ones. Yes I am bitter about this. After 11 years of marriage you'd think you would know someone by then but she doesn't know me and who I am and never has. What I want to know where have all the morals and family values that we were taught when younger gone especially in women these days. They just don't seem to care anymore. My ex when she walked out it was for a 17 year old kid that she hasn't ever met before explain that one to me calling him her soulmate. Now tell me other guys out there how the hell would that make you feel. Like total dirt. I admit that things were not right for awhile between us and we both didn't really know how to talk to each other any more. But she never made any effort once to talk to me and tell how she was feeling about our relationship. I just figured things would smooth out in the long run. I honestly thought one day we would be buried next to each other by our children. But I trully see her for who she is and thank God that I am no longer going to be around that just wish I could stop my daughter from being around that believe me I am going to keep a close watch on the situation and anything that goes astray you can bet that I will keep my daughter away within the legal realms. Yes I am bitter and angry I never thought in a million years my ex would do something like that we actually had a damn good marriage but she can't seem too see that. Oh well everything happens for a reason and someday I hope to find this out. Believe there is more to this story any questions just ask I am an open book at this point.
Re: Blind sided when she left!! lumbeeman: welcome here, sorry you are going through the BS. my situation is similar to yours, i too wonder where morals and values have gone, it seems these days everyone is out for themselves, but itll get better for you, youll find in time that you will stop wanting the answers to questions becasue they simply wont matter to you. everything DOES get better with time, just be the best father you can and keep your head up
Re: Blind sided when she left!! larry: i know my situation is miniscule compared to your guys', but despite having children with your ex's, you can try to move on by, as someone else put, 'exorcising' the ex from your life. remove as much as you can, and do NOT 'check up' on them. thinking of them with other ppl already hurts without actually KNOWING they're with someone already. ignorance is bliss in these situations, let me tell you!
i'll be praying for you both. thank God for OJAR. keep posting. everyone here is here to help one another! vent and yell, and do all you need.
Re: Blind sided when she left!! sosad05: m6...sorry for the situation you're in that you found the website. You'll find a huge support group here.
How old were you when you got married? Is she going through a 1/4 life crisis type of situation? It seems like some people get married too young and miss out on the "party" part of their life. However, I cant believe she would leave her child?!! She cant possibly be thinking clearly and when the partying comes to an end she will realize her mistakes.
In the meantime, all you can do is focus on you and your daughter. Dont ever badmouth your wife to your daughter bc she'll see it for what its worth. Is she even doing visitation right now?
Good luck. I wish you the best of luck. Feel free to message me anytime.
Re: Blind sided when she left!! WhoAmINow: Hi M6,
I'm new here as well......and while you are a bit ahead of me in the process (the divorce being almost final-while I'm just dealing with the initial separation) I wonder if there is some truth to what SoSad05 wrote. About missing the party part of life and such.
I think that's where my stbxh is. He's 31....we married when he was 26......and I think this might have some relevance as all he really wants to do is drink, be social and party. I also agree with what SoSad said......about not badmouthing her Mom....in time she'll see it for what it is. My daughter will see the same if her Daddy doesn't follow through on his word. I really can't believe someone would walk away from their child. My husband-gosh-that's hard to let go......my stbxh's Mom left them with their Dad at a young age because she just wasn't cut out to be a Mom. I wonder now as I write that, if it's related to our situation... ???...
Anyway, it's heart-breaking. But in the end, you are the one who will remain strong in your daughters life. That's so important!!! :)
Not that it makes it any easier......but anything to grasp on for understanding at this point......
Sending positive thoughts your way......
