How much time is acceptable??? Questions: Hi,
I know that each person takes a different amount of time before they feel they are ready to date again after a divorce. But, how long does it typically take before your friends and family feel that you're ready? Is there a norm?
Thanx
Re:How much time is acceptable??? JustMe: When you're ready, you'll probably know it.
So far as your friends and family being ready, I don't know if that's a higher priority than my being ready.
After all, you're the only one that gets to reap all the rewards or all the heartache of any new relationship you start.
Re:How much time is acceptable??? overseas: I think it's a very delicate topic. I'm also really curious to hear people's views on this one. I'm still negotiating a divorce with my husband. We live far apart from one another, so that makes it easier, but there is still a very strong emotional attachment. I feel that if I saw him, we'd still feel very attracted and attached. That is why I am avoiding physical presence, b/c it would put us back at square one, which we have done many times and it never ends up working out in the long run. This time, i know I have to be strong and stick to the divorce.
I have been in constant internet contact with a dear male friend of mine, and it's now cascading into a romantic interest. I'm wondering if I should try to hold back (i.e. wait until the divorce is a bit more final), or just go with it. That too is long distance, so there's no danger of getting too caught up in sexuality yet, but still, I'm starting to feel that I have a new partner.
I think when the relationship CAUSES the divorce, it's a bad start, but being that the relationship begins AFTER the divorce decision happens, i think a new partner can actually really help you cope with the loss and gain hope and perspective for a brighter future. At least that's how I feel right now.
Any one else have any stories to swap of immediate post-divorce relatinoships that did or didn't work out??
Re:How much time is acceptable??? notmyself: you will know when you are ready, when you are ready to go out, when you are ready to sleep with someone new. no one else can tell you these things. some are ready after just a few months, others not for a year or more. i didn't wait that long myself and found myself very scared and afraid of what was going to happen next, that this seemingly wonderful man i was dating would turn out to be an a-hole like my ex. fortunately my guy was very patient and loving and adoring (everything a relationship is supposed to be, but i had never experienced it myself). we are still together and are engaged. it will take time for you to heal, but it will happen. it does get easier, i promise. ~nms
Re:How much time is acceptable??? in_search_of: It is really individual, and I falter back and forth between feeling like I am ready and feeling like I would be crazy to try, and my ex moved out more than a year ago. Though, who knows, I keep thinking that when I ready someone worth having a relationship with will fall in my lap.
Just take things slowly, and you will know when you are ready.
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