Feeling much better Sman: Well, I am doing much better today. Yesterday I think I read to much into something that wasn't there and then wrote alot of things. I ended up having a real good talk wwith my soon to be ex and we talked about everything and now I know where she stands. We both love each other very much but we need to do this. I still don't want to do this but realize that I need this in order to make me a better person for her in the future or for someone else. So, we have not closed any doors, we have left them wide open. I am going to concentrate on me for once. Rebuild my lost friendships, and make new friendships. Concentrate on my job and pay of my two credit cards. I am going to work on me.
My ex told me and ladies I think this is true, that neither the husband or the wife should make the other person their life, and thats what I did for the past 2 years. Never did that when I was happy with work and had friends ( we moved to be closer to her family and I left behind all my friends). We moved and I made her my life, never really going out and doing the things that I used to do that made me happy and made us happy. I know I was around her 24/7 and she got to the point where I wasn't giving her here space and one thing led to another and it all snowballed. So, now I am working on me. Working on my job and cultivate new friendships. I guess what I am trying to say is that she hasn't given up hope on us and that we both need to do somethings that can't be accomplished when married or even separated, so the divorce is going through. They always say if you love something/someone and let them go on their own free will they will come back. I am also praying alot. I pray for everyone who is in the same situation as me. I pray that I get a second chance with my wife and if not I pray that I find someone else, but I want that first one, to get another chance with my wife.
So, for now I am only going to see her and talk to her when necessary and do things for me. Like she told me last night, I have been around so much these past few years she hasn't been able to miss me or get ancy to see me and everything else that we used to do when dating and in our first year and half of marriage.
Okay, I feel better. I'll keep praying for everyone.
