Time to vent my anger... blue_eyes: I read something earlier that said people that cry a lot or get emotional easy don't usually get angry often. This is really true for me. I very rarely get angry, but have a difficult time controlling my emotions when something upsets me. Funny cuz this is actually does make me angry that I am unable to control them.
So this is my attempt to release some anger, and help my ever continuing recovery process.
Funny how I think about my exhusb and I think that I have let go of most of that anger, but I suppose I should reexamine it. I am angry at him for being so irresponsible and such a loser. When I think about it though...I'm actually more angry at myself for allowing myself to be apart of that as long as I was. The fact that he was so needy and pathetic has I think influenced my lack of care or desire to be domestic. He basically needed a mother, not a wife and expected me to portray both roles for him. This may be why I have such a bad view of cooking, housekeeping or most things domestic. Maybe I'm just lazy in this respect, but I didn't used to feel this way. Maybe I'm angry at him for influencing me to become this way. Mostly I just am angry at myself though for being associated with him so long and having his child, for which he takes little responsibility. I was with him a decade..apparently I am NOT a fast learner!
Now to reflect on my recent cause for anger. My exbf that I saw for 9 mo. Sadly, I am mad because I spent what I thought was about some of the best times of my life with him over 9 mo. I am mad that as soon as I finally went out on a limb and just wanted and needed to tell him how I felt, he basically ran like hell. He pushed me out of his life, completely shut me out. Said feelings weren't there for me. How do you spend 9 great months with someone, and not have any major feelings. This man was a big part of my life and then one day he just cuts the freaking rope. I hate him for that. I read on here about ex's that keep calling you back, that won't let you get on with you life. That is certainly not him. He pretty much severed ties with me. Funny how he can remain good friends with the girl he had been seeing up until he met me, but we can't even remain distant friends. I am mad because I thought feelings were mutual. His actions showed me that. He never said I love you to me in words but it was thru what he did for me...or so I thought. I don't know if I am maddest because I misread everything or because he is just so cold hearted. I am pissed because this was the best relationship of my life. As pathetic as it sounds, and it was nothing to him. I am mad because he doesnt even allow me to care for him, even if he doesn't care for me.
Lets just face it, I have a difficult time getting really angry...I need to learn to throw plates or something, gosh darnitt!
Re:Time to vent my anger... justmenow: [quote"> Funny how he can remain good friends with the girl he had been seeing up until he met me, but we can't even remain distant friends. [/quote">
YES!! What IS it with that? My ex b/f is the SAME WAY. His exes cheated on him and treated him like a pile of dog cr@p, yet he remains friends with them to this day!! I treated him with respect and love and let him be who he is and didn't restrict him and didn't cheat on him and POW! One day it's "not you...It's me" and then NOTHING! Not even friends. I guess I didn't abuse him enough. I am BEYOND hurt because I gave him the best of what I have to offer and that still wasn't good enough.
It is such a relief that there are others who truly understand how much this dating/relationship stuff really stinks. I'm glad to see you're venting your anger. Remember this - we deserve better than that.
