Re:any regrets jsurfer: I don't think I gave her what she needed. Maybe I didn't tell her my feelings enough..but if I did she would just play the silent treatment game and hold the divorce thing over my head again.
I think my only regret is that I didn't walk away when I had the chance..She gave the engagement ring back once in the train station because I had to stand duty on a day she made plans for us..She got mad I walked away..but for some reason I came back like a sniveling groveling little Bi7Ch..I should have just kept on walking..
Re:any regrets lucyloo: LOl- Reading Bubba made me remember: when I first remet John, I was dating this other guy. This othe guy was pretty cool- we had a lot in common- same friends, liked the same scene, he was divorced, and had come from a totally different life than mine, but somehow, we overlapped in nice ways.
AND he was a massage therapist!
Actually, when John first moved to town, he and I took John out to show him around and introduce him to some people.
He was sweet, and very into me. But I couldn't take our relationship seriously because after spending a little time with John, I knew I was more attracted to him than I was for my current man. And then, he wanted to slow down, go "back to holding hands" he put it because he was scared of the intensity. He also talked about how he wanted a motorcycle to just take off on for weeks at a time... and I was getting red flags that he was a commitment phobe. After I was serious with John, I tried to be friends with him, but let it all go out of need to get on with John. One night he told me he knew he was a fool for letting me go.
I appreciated that, and wonder sometimes, how things would have been if I had chosen him.
At the time, my choice was obvious, but now I'm like DRAT--- FOILED!!! HOw could I have not seen how genuinely sweet and kind he was, compared to the allure (phoniness) in John?
So, every now and then I regret not taking things down a notch (I mean, Now, I actually WANT something slow!).
I wonder if he's still single?
Ha ha.
I doubt it.
Lucy
Re:any regrets jennyfromtheblock: It's like others said.. I regret not following my "gut feeling" and getting out while I had a good chance... but also I regret not doing more. I regret not taking better care of myself physically. I regret not being more ambitious and less immature. I regret not letting myself be vulnerable, and I regret not being "tougher". I regret all of it and none of it.
Re:any regrets Luv2drive85: Well I moved out 5 months ago and now that the house is officially in contract and Im moving into my new place in 2 weeks, Im starting to feel emotional weakness...now??! I guess I have some regrets....I dont want to get or be divorced but when I think of the type of person he is AND remember how I felt at certain times when he'd do or say things, I remember clearly why Im doing what I need to do. Why do we forget the bad times (sometimes) and let the fantasy take over of the could'a, should'a, would'a, and the if only's take over? I have regrets even tho Im the one who left.....sometimes regrets that I didnt listen to the red flags back when we were dating and his jealousy was ridiculous and very "high school." I dont know.....just feeling quite sad the last week or so.....wish it never came to this. WHY is he willing to change now that I left???? Was I supposed to go running back with open arms?? Yeah, I guess I regret letting my resentment and hurt sway my love for him. I dont know....
Re:any regrets Discarded: I regret marrying her for many reasons. The primary reason is that she couldn't give me alot of the things that I needed from a relationship and wife, but I learned to live without even though I suffered from it. I have 3 beautiful children that I dearly love so I can't say that I truly regret marrying her.
I also regret that I didn't do some of the little things that I could have. I could have been a little more romantic and spontaneous at times and I let some of those times slip past. I know that if I ever remarry I will remedy that.
I regret that I didn't tell her more the things that I needed because I knew that it would lead to argument or snide comments from her.
I regret that I didn't stand my ground more than anything else. I let her do entirely too much and rule too much in our household because i didn't want to argue or have the snide comments. She could have a very mean tongue to me when she was unhappy or not getting her way and I learned to just avoid that and the pain that it caused at entirely too much giving in on my part. It was something that I didn't see in her prior to marrying her and I should have.
If I ever start dating again I will take things slowly and date for quite awhile before taking things to the next step and I will be engaged for quite awhile before deciding to marry. I wonder if I can even find a woman willing to put in this kind of commitment before marrying. I know what I want and I'm willing to find the person that has those qualities that I'm looking for. If I can't find those qualities I just won't get remarried. I won't settle for less again and I won't let my heart rule over my mind. There has to be a balance.
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