Inquiry for everyone JoshuaB: As I go through this process, I have been wondering:
1.(ladies/gentleman that are leavers) In no more then two sentences; why did you leave them.
1a. (ladies and gentleman that are the leavee) (several parts) how did you feel? How long til you lost hope? Is it better with out them?
2. After leaving or being left, did you talk to them and if so was it beneficial.
3. After leaving or being left, when did you "know" it was over?
4. After leaving or being left, what got you through the rough months?
------FINALLY-----
5. SInce your seperation etc.... from the point of leaving til now.....list all of the positive things and or accomplishments that you have done.
THANK YOU A LOT
Re:Inquiry for everyone incoherentlonghorn: Great topic!
1. I left because the s2bx like screaming me into walls, hitting walls, hit our son, liked pulling my clothes off against my will, raped me about five times, was self destructive, said I had to do whatever he wanted because he was *the man* and was overall controlling. Boy, I sure do enjoy my life today!
1a. Married 8 years...felt until about 4.5...lost utter and complete hope at 5.5...left at 7...life is infinitely better without him.
2. We talked. The result was dual fists being raised at me, so I'll go with not beneficial is that respect, but overall yes it was.
3. I knew it was over five months later when I realized he didn't change after anger management, group/indiv therapy.
4. What got me thru:
individual therapy, keeping busy, taking up new/old hobbies, visiting old friends, digging into work, dealing with the issues and pain as it arose, joined a support group, became an OJAR addict. Awww and I met a guy name Jack Daniels.
5. I have taken my life into MY hands/control
I have slowly erased the dreams I had of us together and have replaced them with new ones.
I graduated from school, became a better mother, a more rounded individual, learned who I am again, developed a new base of friends, became an epicurean, tried new things, and really enjoy life.
You are welcome a lot! And thanks for the reminder of how far I have come since August!
Re:Inquiry for everyone Sharp: As I go through this process, I have been wondering:
1.(ladies/gentleman that are leavers) In no more then two sentences; why did you leave them.
His lies left me homeless and penniless with a 6 week old baby just having recovered from a c-section and he was in jail.
1a. (ladies and gentleman that are the leavee) (several parts) how did you feel? How long til you lost hope? Is it better with out them?
I just recently lost hope, bout a month ago, he keeps saying things that want me to still have hope for reconciling, but I have realized I must stay strong for my daughter's and my sake.
2. After leaving or being left, did you talk to them and if so was it beneficial.
When I first left and we talked, he couldn't give me any answers. He was an addict and in denial. After he began recovery we talked, and it seemed to help a lot, answering most of the questions I had, but overall, I still have no choice but to move on.
3. After leaving or being left, when did you "know" it was over?
When after trying to reconcile, he out of nowhere needed his "space" again. I can't live a life of uncertainty, especially with a child depending on me.
4. After leaving or being left, what got you through the rough months?
My baby's smile. The reality that no matter how hard it is for me right now, it will b best for her in the long run.
------FINALLY-----
5. SInce your seperation etc.... from the point of leaving til now.....list all of the positive things and or accomplishments that you have done.
Wow...this list can be how long? lol:
1. Transferred all of my aid from one state to another
2. Applied for a daycare job and was hired (despite it being short-lived)
3. Started back in school
4. Finalized my divorce Pro-Se
5. Had my daghter Baptized
6. Substituted for CCD
7. Granted forgiveness policy on previous F
8. Granted financial aid despite my previous record
9. Threw 1st birthday party for my daughter
10. Inducted into Kappa Beta Delta (Business honors society)
11. Had my ex extradited
12. Successfully completed 27 hours college credit
13. Now eligible for Honors graduation
14. Celebrated 1 year anniversary of my divorce
15. Taught 1 full year of CCD ending w/students receiving first communion May 30.
THANK YOU A LOT --Thank you for asking...this really felt good to share! :D ;D
Re:Inquiry for everyone Sharp: Forgot one more:
16. Successfully completed declaration of nullity through the church, I will be eligible to re-marry in the church when I so choose! :)
