Should I file????? 28andsingleagain: So this is my first time posting anything anywhere but today is an extra hard day for me. It has been exactly one year since my stbxh told me that he was involved with one of my close friends (who was also married). To top it all off, I had an 18 month old son and just found out that I was 6 wks pregnant. We decided to try to work it out - I didn't realize he was so miserable - I can't help but think that he used me just until something better came along....
Well, we went to therapy and continued to try to make things better - all the while he wouldn't stop talking with her - I should have put an end to it then but I didn't because I honestly thought I still loved him and couldn't live without him. I had been with him since I was 16, got married when I was 19 and waited 6 years before we had children.
Long story short, he finally moved out after Christmas, and has been gone since. We have seen lawyers to draw up dissolution papers but he is now seeing how hard it is without his children and wants to fight me for full custody (which I won't give him b/c my kids are THE most important thing in my life right now).
I'm really debating on what to do now, since he won't sign the papers, should I be the one to file for divorce??? I don't feel as though I can move on without the divorce being final...he obviously doesn't have a problem moving on since he is with HER! What should I do??????
Re: Should I file????? LostTeacher: file, file, file.
honestly, best thing to do.
it was my ex that wanted the seperation, but i was the one that contacted a lawyer first, that filed for seperation, and that finally filed for divorce.
as unhappy as i was...as much as i didn't want this to be happening, i had to do it for me. i had to start moving on with my life.
that's my two cents.
LT
Re: Should I file????? Bird: I was told by lawyer that as I was skint, and didn't have anything to gain or lose by staying married to the guy to wait for him to file- coz then he has to pay all the fees- and all you have to do is sign- provided he doesn't try to take you to the cleaners- as for me, i've got nothing to clean anyway...
Re: Should I file????? AfterMath: Yeah definately file. Oh and is good to be here. Good first post.
Re: Should I file????? confused101: There is nothing to be lost by being the first one to file. Chances are when the relationship gets to the point where it looks like it is now, it probably won't heal back to any kind of meaningful partnership.
You gotta do what is best for you, and if moving on is what you need to do then you should do it.
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