Re: Should I file????? 28andsingleagain: Thanks for all the input - that has been the concensus around here too....will this come back to bite me somehow with my kids????
Re: Should I file????? snkpack: He won't get full custody unless you're a crack whore.
Re: Should I file????? thejoker: 99% of all cases the children go with the mother... Dads get partially custody i.e. visitation rights at best.
Re: Should I file????? spooky: The judge will look at what's best for the child. Usually the mother gets the majority of custody unless they have something serious on her. Consult with a lawyer and they can help you decide how to approach that. If he hasn't discussed joint custody with you then you might be able to try and see if he will work with that. Like I said though, unless a mother has some fairly serious issues the court usually grants primary custody to the mother.
Re: Should I file????? Annie: [quote"> There is nothing to be lost by being the first one to file.[/quote">
As a matter of fact, you'll have an upper hand if you file first. Get a lawyer. Choose your grounds carefully. Irreconcilable differences- I don't think so. Abandonment or cruel and inhuman treatment is more like it.
Did he pay you any money in child support, did he pay any bills etc? If he didn't- oh he's so screwed. If he did- it sets out a precedent, the court will most likely grant you an amount close to what you were getting from him. So, that's good as well.
Get a good lawyer, file first and ask for an arm and a leg from him. That way you will get at least a little out of him in form of child support or alimony.
DO NOT let him intimidate you. He will NOT be able to get a full custody. Honey, he walked out on you and the kids, there is NO way he gets custody unless you're a crackhead or in jail. As a matter of fact, get a diary. Write down the facts: did this and that and he didn't pay for a daycare this week as we agreed before. He cancelled Internet service, he didn't come to visit the children, etc. He threatened me and tried to bait me into a fight. No emotions, just dry facts.
