Answers!!!! (really long, sorry) mikeychain: R,
Through our whole relationship all we talked about was how great "best friends" we were. How close we were to begin with before we even started dating. Hell, our song at our wedding was "Best Friends" by Tim Mcgraw. We told each other everything and did not leave any details out.
How then could you not tell me what was wrong? If there was something going on in your head, how could you not talk to me about it? Where was your cry for help when it came down to you deciding that you wanted to leave me? I loved you and I still do, but the bad thing is you didn't even try. You didn't try to talk to me to see if maybe I had some advice on how we could work things out. Maybe because you didn't want to work things out? Maybe because you had already left me in your head? Well instead you turned to your younger single friends that don't know me and don't know what we have been through. Maybe you knew what they were going to tell you and that is what you wanted to hear? It is just sad because we have two beautiful children who didn't have a say in this and it is bullshit to say that you left for your selfish reasons. Especially since you went through the same crap with your mom and dad. We had the passion there once, why the hell could we not find it again. I pulled away the last year because you told me to. You told me to not be affectionate and to keep at a distance so I thought that was the right answer. Not to smother you with love and to take a step back. Wait until the depression went away?
How I just lingered for your touch. I just waited every day when I came home to give you a kiss and a hug but knowing that is not what you wanted drove me insane. But still I waited by your side hoping and waiting till you came to. I did everything I thought would make you happy. Your boob job, sending you on your cruise, and taking care of you in every possible way. I even told you daily how much I loved you and would never leave you.
Still, you chose not to love me anymore. Still you chose your happiness (freedom) over the families. Still you chose to leave! You say you left me and not the kids? Call it what you will but you left the family, which includes the kids. You chose the one bedroom apartment, you chose to be a stripper, and you chose your life over theirs. You still see them during the day while I am at work and that is great...but you still don't want them on your nights off...so don't make it seem like you are the best mother in the world. You got scared and you ran. The thought of being a wife at this point in time of your life scared the hell out of you and you ran. In the process you left the kids behind. Yes you still want to be the mom but only at your convenience, at least that is the way that I see it. Take this time and experience what you feel you missed out on when you married me. Take this time and make yourself happy. Hopefully you find someone that you are happy with and you won't do this to them. Take care and hopefully we could be the friends we once were someday...
m
