Resigning myself to the fact... confused101: I just got off the phone with her. It's the second day in a row she's called me so I can't say she doesn't want to talk to me lol. Here's my feelings at this point. It looks like at this point in time she will never be able to have a life where she doesn't ache for him (her late husband). It is starting to become more clear everyday that she will never be able to love anyone else or let anyone else love her in a way that two people can become intimate enough to reach a higher level. Everything she says, all the things she thinks about...just everything tells me this. I could have dealt with her loving him, but I can't deal with ever being #2 to the person I love. It is disheartening to me, but I can understand her feelings and emotions. And although I think it is unfair, (maybe unfortunate is a better word) I can accept the circumstances as they are and I'm smart enough to realize when things aren't going to turn out as I had hoped.
I'm going to stick around here and help others get through their tough times. I am going to let my heart let her go and let go of the hope I had for this relationship. I'll be her friend and talk to her as she needs, but I will not look for it to go any further than that in the future. It was a good time with her, and I'm glad I got the chance to be involved with her. But it is pretty clear to me my future lies elsewhere.
If anyone needs a friend to talk to, pm me. I'm opening my friend book to anyone who needs it. Lord knows you guys have been there for me, and I'll be there for you. Thanks for all the support during these maddening days, dunno where I'd be without you.
Re: Resigning myself to the fact... Lumpy: Is she is counseling for this rainking? Seems like a pretty serious problem for her. Maybe she has yet to face the grief of losing her husband head on.
Re: Resigning myself to the fact... Dana: Keep your chin up honey. It will be ok. I wish there was something more to say but I think she needs to see someone about her grief. She needs you as a friend though. That may be hard and even something you can't do right now but she's been through something tragic and I'm sure she misses him so much. Maybe after she gets to a healthy place and deals with the loss, she will be ready for the wonderful relationship you are offering her. Stay strong.
Re: Resigning myself to the fact... snkpack: Sweet, another man to add to my bevy of conquests. ;)
Re: Resigning myself to the fact... confused101: [quote"> Is she is counseling for this rainking? Seems like a pretty serious problem for her. Maybe she has yet to face the grief of losing her husband head on.[/quote">
This is part of what is leading me to viewing the situation as it is. She has went to one session and will start going regularly here soon, but to her it is a matter of "have to" in order for her to function in life. She doesn't really want to share her feelings about it with anyone. Her words. She says it's like her secret and doesn't want to share it. She is greiving big time over this, but in a way I don't think she wants to let the pain go. She's been at this for 3+ years now and I just can't see it changing even with counseling. Like you said Dana, maybe one day she will reach a healthy place. I hope she does, even if it may not be me who ends up with her.
[quote"> Sweet, another man to add to my bevy of conquests. [/quote">
LOL I am the Mt. Everest of men conquests. Bring your hiking shoes ;)
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