Re: Resigning myself to the fact... AMG: Rainking,
I can so relate to you. My ex's friend that was killed was his ex girlfriend. He swore up and down that he was not in love with her, but that their relationship had changed into a brother/sister sort. I believed him. But, with her death I think he either really did have feelings for her or has begun to think that he did. I knew this the last year of our relationship, and just tried to be understanding, and could only imagine what he must be going through...
It is like ever since the day she died, I have been waiting to get my old boyfriend back. And, then he left me and blah, blah, blah...
But, its only been a little over a year now, since she passed away. But I guess there is no time limit on the grieving cycle, and I guess you never know how one is going to react.
Re: Resigning myself to the fact... jrios29: Rainking
Have you thought about maybe suggesting going to a couple of therapy sessions with her? May be not to discuss her late husband, but maybe to talk about where your relationship is going in a neutral setting. It's not fun wondering about the future when you only have 2 options
1. wait and see
2. leave and wonder "what if?"
You deserve someone who can and will give themselves to you completely. You don't deserve to live in someone else's shadow. Does she feel comfortable talking to anyone??? You have a very tricky situation, bud, and I'm here in case you need anyone. I wish I could offer more, but all I can do is support ya!
Re: Resigning myself to the fact... confused101: [quote"> Have you thought about maybe suggesting going to a couple of therapy sessions with her?[/quote">
I've offered to do this. See the problem here is she wants to concentrate on her pain and no other feeling. Not feelings for me, not feelings for anyone but herself. This is the frustrating part. I ask her why she won't talk to me about it, I got "Because it's none of your damn business!". It's very hard to communicate with someone who doesn't want to. And I'm not a big fan of being pushed away or yelled at.
I've talked to her each of the last few nights. She calls me, I still don't call her. We have a nice conversation for about 10-15 minutes, then we say our I love you's and get off the phone. Sometimes the conversations involve who she talked to that knew both of them, sometimes not. I've learned either way to not show much emotion, just say uh-huh and not be combative or push in any way shape or form.
It does feel good now that I've let go. I'm not expecting phone calls, thinking about what she's doing, who she's talking to, etc. So when I do hear from her it is a nice little bonus and I can go to sleep at night not worrying why she isn't here by my side.
If it's meant to be....she'll come to me:)
Re: Resigning myself to the fact... Backtome: Rainking,
I'm very sorry. I was hoping the time away would help her though it does sound like it won't be that easy. You do seem to be handling it the best way you can.
Stay around here though, we need you and you will still need us!
Re: Resigning myself to the fact... spooky: *deleted*
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