THE BREAK UP clockwork: I posted last week about problems i was having with the man that i was currently seeing having problems with me communicating with my xh.
Things with J have been really strained since that post. He spent quite a bit of time with his friends drinking and partying. I don't have a problem with him hanging out with his friends at all.
The real problem would come the day AFTER he spent the night hours hanging out with his buddies. He would call me constantly to see where I was, what I was doing, who I was with. He got mad because I spent time with my daughter, and didn't include him, he got mad because I went shopping with my mom.
Yesterday was a total disaster. He skipped out on the local parade I had invited him to, and then was upset because I didn't call him as soon as it was over. He came out yesterday to cook out, etc, and when he got there my mom and i had gone to get fireworks. I swear I wasn't gone from the house 10 minutes and he called to see where I was (which he knew because my dad had told him) and exactly how long i was going to be gone.
Anyway, I will try to make the rest of this story as short as possible. He started an argument in front of my parent, and my children. When I refused to argue back, he gets up and tells everyone that he is leaving. When my 4 year old son asked why, he tells him "Because your mommy is being hateful to me." I told him not to talk down about me to my children and that he could leave. He stood in my yard and yelled like a freaking moron. I told my children to go inside because they didn't need to see what was going on. He told them they didn't have to go inside, he was done.
I THOUGHT he was leaving, so I took my kids and went inside the house to calm down. When I walked out of my bedroom, he had come in the house, and sent the kids outside. He jumped off the sofa, ran up in my face and told me that we were going to talk about what had just happened. I told him AGAIN, that i wasn't arguing with him in front of my children, and that he could leave. When i tried to get around him, he would throw his arms up where i couldn't get around him. I finally worked my way to the door trying to get out of the house, and he put his arms up and wouldn't let me through the door. Again, I told him that i wasn't going to argue with him and to let me outside.
He looked me straight in the face and said "You want out? You say please!!!"
I again told him to let me out.
That's when it happened...
He clenched up his fists, flexed his arms, got right in my face and told me to get my fu**ing a** on the g**damn porch and sit down.
I was furious. I pushed him out of the way-HARD, got to the door, told him he wasn't going to treat me like that, to get in his truck, leave, and never come back.
He got his things and left. My children were standing on the porch and saw the last of the confrontation, when I got him out of my way.
My 9 year old daughter looked at me crying and said, "Mommy, please don't ever let him come back." :'( :'( :'( What have I done to these babies?
Now there is fear. I am still angry that he did what he did in front of my parents and especially my children, but now the scared part has sunk in. There is no doubt in my mind that if i hadn't moved as fast as i did, he would have hit me. He would have hit me with my parent and children right outside that door.
He actually called my parent's home this morning and told him that he was sorry, but that i was being "tactful" (what the hell is that?) to him, and that he was just trying to make me understand. My mom told him he was never welcome in her home again, and she thought it would be a good idea if he stayed away from me and my children.
He actually tried to make his little tantrum my fault.
Can someone please tell me how to get over this feeling of fear that i have today. Should i be thinking about doing something to protect myself and my children, or do i just let it go?
I need help guys, I really don't know what to do about this feeling or the situation.
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Re: THE BREAK UP Dolphin Close: [quote author=clockwork link=topic=31090.msg309686#msg309686 date=1152114900">
I need help guys, I really don't know what to do about this feeling or the situation.
[/quote">
Listen to your daughter.
Re: THE BREAK UP clockwork: Oh there is no freaking way that he will ever be back around me or my children. HELL NO!!!!!!!
Today I am just scared. Scared about what could have happened. Scared of the way that he acted yesterday. He was like someone who had gone crazy
I have never in my life had someone look at me like that.
I just want to know how to deal with the emotions of this.
Re: THE BREAK UP DarrenB: Emotionally... count your blessings and thank the lord that you were able to see this coming, and now can skip out on him while you have no real attachment to the guy. Be wary of how he acts over the next few days. From what I get out of your post, he seems like a loose cannon and a control freak that might be difficult to get rid of. Not purposely trying to scare you here(sorry :( )...just advising you to keep an eye out.
Re: THE BREAK UP 2be: Don't be scared about what could have happened, because it DIDN'T happen. I know it is hard to do but don't let the emotions of a 'potiential' bad situation overwhelm you. As difficult as this is, be thankful that you saw this behaviour now and not sometime in the future. Keep your family around you and put a big distance between him and your loved ones.
Go into your room and punch a pillow, scream into it. Let that fear and anxiety out. Then go give your kids a hug and be strong for them.
;) You know how to reach me if you need to. (((((( hugs )))))))
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