Re: Finding Happiness WITHIN Myself Roseville: Thanks, guys:)
I guess that I've realized that the one and only person that I have to spend the rest of my life with ..... is ME. So, if I'm not happy with me, I won't be able to be happy with my husband, kids, family, friends, or anybody else. So making me and the kids happy is #1 now. And if hubby decides to stay along for the ride, then that makes me even happier - and if he doesn't want to be with me, well, then that just sux for him!
In the past 2 months since all of this went down, the kids and I have gone on about 2 weeks worth of vacations/trips, I've got a totally new hairstyle, a tan (normally, I give Casper a run for his money), and some new clothes. I've whitened my teeth, manicure, pedicure, some waxing (ouch!) and I feel like a new woman. I've spent time and energy on ME, and that's a first since my kids have been born. That is something that I had lost, and I hope I don't lose myself again.
OK - I'm ready for the beach again.....who's with me?
Re: Finding Happiness WITHIN Myself confused101: You know I'm down with you for a beach trip! Glad to see the fighter come out in you, as you have seen my littler fighter has come out. It's about us and what makes us happy. We can bring joy to other people's lives, but by God they better bring some back to us in my opinion.
The changes are great, I've gone through a lot myself and I'm not done yet. The part you have to do is make sure these changes become a part of you, and not a reminder of what you went through.
I'm very happy for you. now lets go to the beach!
Re: Finding Happiness WITHIN Myself Feel: Is there a way I can get there!
To be honest, I never really needed an approval from my husband... I just lost so much time with him that even while I was alone I wasn't sure how to find myself...
I still one year later and even from having him come back for 2 months, wasn't really looking for myself or trying to find peice! I am now on my own an dyou guys have all read how bad I can still get in being unsure of which way to go.... BUT where do I start and where do I look to find my happiness and contentment within myself!
Re: Finding Happiness WITHIN Myself Roseville: Feel,
I think with me, a lot of what motivates me is my faith. I've always been a spiritual person, but stopped going to church/reading scripture/worship shortly after we got married. When my first child was born, the prayer part of my life came back. And when all of this went down, I took myself and my kids to Vacation Bible School at church with my best friend and her girls. Since then, when we've been in town, we go. Just me and the kids.
I had to re-connect with myeslf, and for me that came partly thru prayer and counseling. I also learned from all of my Ojar friends that I needed to put myself and my kids first, and for me, that wasn't leaving (I knew that down deep, if my husband had REALLY wanted a divorce, he would have done it, and he didn't, nor did he actually ever want for the kids and I to move out of the house.) He said so many things that hurt me, and I realized that him saying that I was "controlling" was right on the money! I was - and what I didn't realize was that by attempting to know where he was and what he was doing and when he was going to be in - at all times, not only was I driving him crazy, but I was making myself miserable. Absolutly miserable.
Now, we sort of went thru a period of going our own ways, and instead of that happening, it seems to be bringing us together.
Feel, it'll come. If you haven't been to church in a while (and I'm not a Bible thumper, really) go back, not only is it just a positive place, but I guess you could think of it as a place to meet a good guy :) And if you haven't gone to counseing, you should get there - for you.
Re: Finding Happiness WITHIN Myself Roseville: Quick update ~
Things are going better than they have in weeks. We're laughing, playing with the kids, joking, talking and making decisions together. We've spent the past 2 evenings going out as a family - including spending this evening with my family.
Please pray for me that things will continue on the healing road. Please pray that our marriage was simply being tested, and is now stronger for it. Please pray that my kids be sheltered from anything and everything that has and will go on.
J
