fell down again hr: I haven't posted in a while. I have been doing okay until I had to attend a wedding last weekend, and things seem so real again. Also in the last week my husband decided he loves me and he wants to see if we can work this out. I love him so much, but I don't like doing this over and over. I don't know what to do. My heart wants the pain to stop, but I know in my head he is not what I need in my life. It is the worst ride I have been on yet. He has been attentive to my needs, then the next minute I am in so much trouble because I have talked to people about my feelings which include him and the things he has done. He thinks what happens between us is only between us. I had and have a broken heart and it pisses him off that I need someone to confide in. People I know around me are so two faced. They can't wait to gossip. I just need someone I can trust to talk to. I feel so alone. I don't dare talk. I don't dare do anything. I am so torn up. I feel like I am starting all over. I am not saying I want him back. I am just so torn up inside that I don't know which way is up anymore. Why do they try to come back to us just when we start to really heal? I am a wreck.
Re: fell down again hr: Just a side note on this. Up until a week ago I had so many comments about how good I was looking and what am I doing different, you look so happy, what are you doing different. The day after my husband started hinting he made a mistake people keep asking me what is wrong. I don't look so good. Is everything okay. Odd isn't it.
Re: fell down again giver: HR...I think may be going through a similar situation myslef. We've been seperated for 13 weeks and I was beginning to do really well. I had stopped telling him I loved him, had started handing the phone to my daughter to answer when I saw it was him calling. Then this past week he has started acting really strange. Hasn't come right out and said he was changing his mind, but I know him well enough that I can read him like a book. Then I caved....I told him how much I missed him and how much I wanted us again and how he was my world and that I didn't want this divorce and I aske dhim if it wasn't something to consider, something to think about and he said, yeah, maybe a little. That was more progress than I had made in 13 weeks. Now....2 days later I could kick myself. I got caught up in the monent, looking in his eyes, once again seeing the man I love, forgetting all the bad he has put me through, and who he has become, and I said all the things I wanted to say to the man I know he can be, forgetting that he'snot been that man in some time. Now I'm gonna have to start this process all over. My suggestion to you is this....if you DO love him....and you DO want him back...take it slow....date him again....make him show you that he has really changed....and if you know him well, you'll be able to tell. And if he's not willing to go that route, then you know he doesn't really want to try. That's my thought anyway. Try to be strong...I know you can!!!!
As spike says....keep it business.
Re: fell down again icwtsmnl: [quote author=giver link=topic=31547.msg315467#msg315467 date=1152904338">
take it slow....date him again....make him show you that he has really changed....and if you know him well, you'll be able to tell. And if he's not willing to go that route, then you know he doesn't really want to try. [/quote">
i think that's really wise, giver. not a lot of people realize that's a good way to go. then they get hurt again.
Re: fell down again hr: I did keep it business like for two months. Then he started acting funny, then he came right out and said it. I love you. I made a mistake. I fell for him again. I don't want to. I want to be strong. I hate that I love him. We communicated more than we ever did. I told him things that I shouldn't have now he won't let it go. He says I lie everytime I open my mouth he can't trust me. Now he thinks that this might have been a mistake even trying. Oh my god how much more can I take. I did lie and the more I tried to cover it the worse it got. I told him about a past relationship while we were seperated and now I am a slut. It was 10 years ago. I never told him because he is the jealous type and I knew this would happen and now my worst fear has happened. I rambled drunk. I should have known better, but now I can't take it back and I guess if a stupid thing that I didn't tell him years ago and I am lying about now is going to ruin it, I am glad I am only a week in. Do you think this is his jealousy talking? I know I should have never lied, but he is telling me he will never trust me again. I told him I kissed another guy and that I felt so wrong that it wasn't my husband that I asked the guy to leave. (he was not in the house and we filed for divorce at the time due to his cheating and I am the one who felt guilty) He asked me graffic questions and when I told him I didn't remember he is like bull sh... All men want to do is fu@#$@#. I am rambling, but you get the point. I am a tramp now. My heart is breaking all over again. I just want to dissapear.
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