Re: fell down again jrios29: Well said, giver! Make sure you maintain control, and just take it slow.
Re: fell down again icwtsmnl: i could have written that, giver. and no, you're right, you can not deal with that fighting and pain for the rest of your life. and it unfortunately probably won't end.
Re: fell down again giver: Hr....the one thing you have to remember is this...(take it from one who knows) The pain and agony that you feel right now while working your way through seperation and possible divorce is a temporary pain and agony. Yes, it hurts like heck and yes you often wonder if you can make it at all. But the inner strength that you find, that does get you through, brings us to the other side a much much stronger perosn. One day, IF YOU LET YOURSELF, you eventually begin to heal and you see that you can live without him and the pain begins to fade and become replaced with joy and hapiness.
Now, if you cave and stay and come to find that he hasn't really changed, he's just changed his mind, then the pain that you feel while in a bad relationship is a pain that is constant. There is no healing and no progress. My mom said to me once, honey would you rather be hit in the gut 1 time really hard and hurt really bad but the pain fade eventually or would you rather be hit mildly over and over and over and over and over and all have a constant ache that will never go away? Think about it HR. I know this pain is hard...we all do. We're all going through the same thing...and I know that advice is much easier to give than it is to take....but I don't want to see you go down the same road I've been down 4 times now. (and never had ojar B4). Just make sure in your heart that HE is what you want....not just the pain to go away. Becasue I promise you, this pain will go away...you just have to give it time.
PM me anytime. I'm here for you!!!
Giver
Re: fell down again hr: I guess we will have to see what kind of person I am. If I cave it will probably be because I am sick of the temporary pain. If I stay strong, I will be on my way to the real recovery. I can't change that I love him, but three fights in 7 days. We used to fight like that twice a year. I have a hard time with this, because I have my own flaws. I like to hold things in instead of tell him what is bothering me. He keeps pointing that out, but when I share he gets pissed off. If I am mad and I know it will pass I would rather not have him pissed. I guess that says a lot of the marriage. I feel so misserable, and I was doing so good. I was okay being alone, but now I am alone, confused, angry, and I have that naseated sick sinking feeling. I have had it for 2 days. I hate it. I liked being numb more than this.
Re: fell down again lilly10: This may not be my place but just some of my thoughts. I have read your story and from what I gather he has cheated on you on a few occasions. I know it hurts not to be with him because you love him so much but I have to think it hurts pretty bad being with someone who damaged you this way?? It seems you two have this cycle that keeps going round and round. Your husband probably sucks the self confidence right out of ya and when we dont feel confident it shows. People notice. I think that there is only so long a dysfunctional relationship can go on before it is time to throw in the towel for good. Please take a good long look at the path you want to be on. You seemed to be making so much progress and were finding happiness do you think you can continue on this road with your husband.
I hope I have not offended you I just think you deserve more. He hints at making a mistake and yes he sure has but maybe this time he needs to learn to live with that. How many times is he going to make the same mistake?. It seems you know you want more then he gives. Please don't settle for feeling numb life can be pretty good once you start living for you (and your kids of coarse!).
We are here for you!!
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