Today sucked but I'm going to get over it just_me_detroit:
Yesterday I got my first tattoo. I never thought I would. It was really hard for me to do it, but I did. I wanted something permanant to remind me of this point in my life. Whether I end up divorced or I stay married my life will change. It can never be the way it was again. I chose a tribal style tattoo in the shape of a delta or triangle to symbolize difference or change. I also had the artist create a hint of face in the tat to symbolize a person in change or myself changing. At this point in my life I will change myself! At least in theory that is the idea.
I got my tattoo fairly early yesterday afternoon. I had plenty of time to think about it during the day. I didn't come home until 1:00 in the morning. By the time I went to bed I wished I hadn't got it. I thought to myself this isn't me. Why did I do this, What am I trying to prove? Did I just make a permenant mistake? I posted a picture of it last night. I tried to sound happy about it. I wasn't I wished I hadn't done it.
This morning my feelings got worse. My wife saw it on my way in to the shower. She said something like " I thought thats what I saw" Then later she told me to keep lotion on it. No thats cool, no hey let me see that closer. She was in a bad mood and we barely spoke this morning. The only other thing she told me was that I had to pick up the kids because she was going out tonight and wasn't coming home till late.
During the day I worked. My coworkers were picking on me. I am the only one out of the 6 or 7 guys that I work closest too that has a tattoo. There were many jokes about mid life crises and oh don't mess with Mike because now he's a bad ass. They weren't trying to be mean. But because of my mood I didn't take it well. I didn't show anything on the outside but I was hurting bad on the inside. WHY DID I DO THIS. I CANT GO BACK. ITS HORRIBLE. I'M HORRIBLE. I'M FALLING APART. I was depressed today. I felt like curling in a ball and crying. I even sent a cryptic message to an online friend about how I was hurting. The work day mercifully ended. I fed my kids and just sent them to bed a few minutes ago. I started the computer to come on here cry about how I hate myself.
While waiting for the computer to start I pulled my sleeve up to put lotion on the tat. I looked at it in the mirror. I NEED TO CHANGE. IM NOT A VICTIM. WHO CARES IF SHE DOESN'T APPROVE OF MY TAT. I DID THIS FOR ME. I'M STRONG. AND I WILL SURVIVE THIS. My whole attitude snapped just 30 seconds before I started typing on here. THIS IS WHY I GOT INK YESTERDAY. THIS IS IT! HELL YA I AM GOING TO CHANGE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Today sucked but I'm going to get over it freovir: can i get me an amen?!?
amen!
hang on, the changes are a comin'. ;D
Re: Today sucked but I'm going to get over it Roseville: Hey Detroit,
You bad ass! (just kidding)
There is nothing in the world wrong with getting a tattoo! I think that what you described sounds awesome and the reasoning behind it is a very valid one. Tattoos are a wonderful and permanent reminder of things that are important to us - people, special days, our children, whatever is important. It is a very individual and intimate decision, and isn't right for everybody (in my mind, I'm seeing my grandma with a rose tattooed on her boob - Oh NO, now I won't be able to sleep tonight :-\ (again, just kidding) but anyhow - I do not have any tattoos, but my husband has 2. My brother has several, uncles, (even aunts) my granpa, many, many people in my life have tattoos, and they are fine people. My brother's got a bar code on the back of his neck, the name of his band on the inside of his wrists, and a very large tattoo (of what, I seem to not be able to recall, my sleeping pill is kicking in) on his chest. My husband has a black panther ripping thru his upper arm with my name and the date we were married below it. This tattoo was gotten when we were married for 2 days - on our honeymoon. The other tattoo is a wolf howling at the moon, with a tribal symbol behin it - this one he got when his very close cousin died in a car crash at age 20.
Anywho - please don't be so down on yourself - you can always have it lasered off if it really gets to you, but from many, many people I've heard - they say that tattoos are addicting, and one is rarely enough!
Re: Today sucked but I'm going to get over it jadedangel: [color=navy"> Yeah ... I'm with jlw ....You ARE a bad ass ... ;) ...
But really -- there was a reason that you got that tattoo .. and you realized it --- when you really needed to realize it! I am guessing you will still go through ups and downs with the realization of what you did ... however, hopefully it will help you.
One thing to think about --- many people get tat's just to be cool ... they don't think of what they will mean to them .. what they will be in 5 years ... they were just 'something to go do' ... You didn't do that. You did it with a purpose .. you chose a design with a purpose .. and you will always have that -- the meaning of what it all was to you. You are right .. you will never be the same from that point on -- and it reflects that heavily. I can see that just by reading. I hope you learn to embrace your choice .. as you begin to change .. Hell yeah you did it for you!!!
Good luck with the changes -- and if you ever forget ... do exactly what you did ... look down .. and yell at yourself knowing what it is there to represent ... and what you are going to do about it. [/color">
Re: Today sucked but I'm going to get over it confused101: Grats on the tat....and you are right, you did it for you. Be proud of it and wear it as a badge of pride.
People face trials in their lives of different sorts. If we make it through we should be as proud and thankful as we possibly can.
Click More for the next page.
