(please give me some advice)nearly 4 weeks and i still feel suicidal simon lacey: Hi guys it has been a little while since i posted on here, june 26 my wife and partner of 14 years told me she did not love me, i have 4 kids and theyare all fantastic, i caused a lot of the problems in our marriage due to my insercurites and jealousy, when it first happened claire told me she did not know the reason why she did not love me, since then we have talked and i know what the problems where, all i ever wanted was a second chance, she has said that all the times we rowed, of which wasnt lots of times, i should of realised how bad it was, but i never, if i had known then i would never had allowed this to happen, i am seeing a councillor for my problems. claire had said that over the past year i had got moody and depressed and would shout at the kids, she knows that i had pressures at work, i was being bullied by another man for about a year and my employers did nothing to help me, so i would come home at night and take my frustration out on the family, i know that was wrong.
I told claire that my kids have given me a second chance and that is amazing all of a sudden i see them as these amazing people with so much to offer and i will never allow my self to mean to them i also feel so that i have ruined claires happines all she wanted was to be a good mother and have a career and be part of a strong happy family and i have to live with the fact of knowing i have ruined it.
I moved into a apartment 1 week after she told me and i have been here for 3 weeks i have just got my internet on so thats the reason for not posting sooner.
we still talk but i have so many questions to ask when i see her i sometimes spoil it by going on about us, I have so many answers to find.
All i want is her to be happy and me to be happy, i know that we can happy with me and she thinks i will never change, but i know i can already i am much calmer i dont row, i dont get stressed driving, i am finding it easy, when i am at work or around other people i am so calm and fun to be with, claire has said that that made her so upset to see me with other people happy and calm but when it is just us i was sometimes moody and depressed.
I miss her so much i have been having my kids a lot and i love it, i have all 4 asleep now in bed at my apartment and it is amazing when i wake up and there is someone here.
We talked the other day and she said for me to prove that she can change, i think she wants me to change but she never ever gives me any hope about us.
sorry for going on will post shorted next time been such a long time i could talk for hours
cheers guys simon
Re: (please give me some advice)nearly 4 weeks and i still feel suicidal Ramsey: I can't really give you any advice, but I do sympathize with your emotional turmoil. It sounds like you are trying which is good. It would probably be good for you to hold it together for yourself and for your kids who love you. It's been only about two weeks since my wife left me. I've been able to heal a bit, but the feeling of hopelessness at how horrible life seems to be without her still swells up inside me ocassionally. You've just got to carry on as best as you can. Take care of yourself and your children as well as you can manage. You can't know what's going on inside your wife's head. But if you are taking good care of yourself and your kids, it can only help. I wish you the best Simon. Please take care.
Ramsey
Re: (please give me some advice)nearly 4 weeks and i still feel suicidal Bird:
We all understand the pain and loss of a love that is not reciprocated.
Your feelings are completely normal, and as much as you have probably already heard this, you need to give yourself time. Time is healer of all wounds. Keep posting as well, it is really good release. Everytime you are sad and upset or depressed, come and post or even just read other posts.
Re: (please give me some advice)nearly 4 weeks and i still feel suicidal spooky: Stay in counseling and contunie to improve. She might see the improvement as reason to try a little longer. It's tough now, but you have to (not "need") to ignore any suicidal impulses. If things don't work out, at least you're there for the kids and have made progress.
Re: (please give me some advice)nearly 4 weeks and i still feel suicidal alonewith2: When you start to feel suicidal just picture your 4 kids asleep in your bed. They've given you a second chance to be that dad they've wanted and loved, don't take that from them now!
I think you're doing great. Going to counseling, realizing your mistakes, and wanting to get back on track are all positive things! Even if your wife doesn't give you that chance, you will still be better off in life for making the improvements that you are. ;)
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