here's the update sweetie1:
Well, after that night my husband called to talk about something serious with the OW there, there has alot been going on. Well, the next day around 7:00am in the morning I called him to ask him what is going on. I called his mom's house phone cuz his phone was off. So, a women picks up the phone. I was thinking it was mother. I was in my car so I could not hear too well. I did find it kind of weird that It took a while before my husband came on the phone. So, I talk to my husband and he said what ever he said the night before still goes. I talk with him for like 25min. Well, an hour later I get a text message from the OW. She tells me"Oh you did not hear my voice when I picked up the phone this morning, and that he lied to you to get what he wants." She also said that" everytime he talked on the phone with me she has been there and she read my e-mail's as well, and that she goes to work with him sometimes." She goes on saying that I don't want to hurt you and that he has done that enough to the both of us and that she is leaving for good and that she hopes everything goes well for me and she hopes I get to keep my family." I was so fucking hurt I called his mom's house phone and the bitch picks up. I asked her were the piece of shit husband of mine. She said that he was taking a shower. I was like bang on the door and tell his ass to get out and she said he locked the door. She was like well I'm leaving for good so you don't have to worry about me, I was like good B**tch I don't care. We started cursing at each other. I then had my mom call his mom and she did not pick up. Finally, after 30 min, I called and he picked up. So, we started arguing. He told me that he cut it off with her and that she said all those things to hurt me and they were not true. I asked why was she there then he said like I told you last night she did not want to leave and my mom did not want to deal with it. I was like so where did she sleep he said the couch and that he slept in the room. He said stop calling his mom cuz his mom does not want to get in the business no more and it's between us now. He said that she is no longer in the picture. He said that I still want you to come down here and that if that Bitch calls again tell her off. Later, on that night around 2:30am he called. He told me the same thing. He said that he was sorry for everything and his mom said he needs to stop hurting me. He said that I know that I have hurted you alot and I don't want to hurt you anymore. He said that he F**ked up and that when he tried to fix things it just got worse. He said he don't know what the hell is wrong with him and why he is acting the way he does. Of course he still wants me to come down.
Re: here's the update sweetie1: The next day around 5:30pm I get a call from his mom. Well, since that OW took the phone back he has to use his mom's phone. So, I picked up and it was not his mother or him. I thought it was his sister, but it was is cousin. He cousin asked me did I call her mom, I was like no I did not. And, she said oh my mom saw my number on the caller ID i was like no I did not call. What was weird was that I told never had her mom's number and that his cousin called from his mom's cell phone. I think it was a setup. Well, his cousin was talking to me about the situation. She said that the OW was F***king crazy. She said that if that OW does hear from my husband she goes crazy. Calling all his family finding out where he is at or what he is doing. She said that 2 times a week she would go to there house waiting to see if my husband was there. They said that she does not want to get the picture. They told my husband that if he want's to see that girl it has to see her elsewhere cuz they don't want that girl in there house or near them. The cousin was saying that my husband is very unhappy and that everytime she see's him and that other girl they are always fighting. She said when she hears my husband talk's to me he talk's in a way that he loves and cares for me and when he talk's to the OW he talk's to her like if she was guy. She said that my husband does not LOVE or LIKE the OW. They don't want me to divorce my husband and they want me to come down and help me out. They believe our marriage could work cuz they know he still love me and I still love him. I was like well I'm still thinking about that but I'm not getting screwed in the back no more. I already told my husband that and them. I'm going through too much and can't take no more.
Well, my husband called me today and he still wants me to come down and wants me to stop the legal seperation papers. I want to make the right decisions. His family knows and he knows that I'm only looking out for my daughter and me. So, they should keep kissing my ass so I could really believe him and them. What do you guy's think? My mom is still unsure about, but she said give it a shot. It look's like it too her that they sound serious about. It is always good to get advice. I would greatly appreciate it.
Re: here's the update alonewith2: It seems to me like there is a chance for you two to work things out, but you definitely have a long uphill battle ahead. It's something that both of you need to realize, want, and decided to work on TOGETHER!
First, the OW needs to go! He needs to have a conversation that you are privy to (either an email that you get to read, a phone call you get to listen to, or a face to face meeting that you get to attend). Then everything will be laid out on the table for her.
Second, you should have ONE session with him which will be called "honesty time." A time for you to ask all the questions that you have, which he should answer to the best of his abilities. Once this is complete, NO MORE questions about the OW, him leaving you, etc. You'll have to let it go and try your best to forget about it.
Third, you should have a conversation either at the same time as the honesty time session or later on in which you both state what needs to be done and how you are going to achieve it. It should be a meeting in the middle. This is when you will tell him what you need from him in order to build up trust again, find your connection again, and move towards that goal of getting back together. Counseling will be a GREAT move here!!
Fourth, there should have a trial period of working things out slowly. I wouldn't suggest you move right back in with each other. You need that space to work on yourselves while working on your relationship. And the space will help you build your trust back. In no way should you call him every second to find out what he's doing, etc. You will need to give him some benefit of the doubt. If he's willing to prove his trust to you, you need to give him that chance without throwing it in his face.
Fifth, if the OW (who seems kind of stalkerish and dense) tries to cause problems, you should form a united front with your husband against her. Ignore her and don't believe everything she says. She will try her best to split you two up because she will believe that she'll have another chance with him if she can get you out of the picture. Don't say anything to her, just ignore her. If she says anything that you question, ask your husband, but not in an accusatory way.
Of course this is just my opinion. ;)
Re: here's the update Dana: OMG!! You're living MY life!!! Think we could figure out some way to share the pain and maybe one of us could have at least one Kick A** Day? I think I might be able to help you out some with this one cause it seems I'm maybe a week ahead of you. Remember though every situation is different.
So, my advice. STOP talking to the whore. She would rather slit your throat then help you save this marriage and the sooner you BOTH realize this one the sooner you can start healing. I learned everything the same way you did except my husband had some proof of what he was saying. It wasn't enough for HER friends to call me and say she was the one causing all the problems and he wanted to come home and had told her off. Nope, wasn't enough to have him crying, crawling on his hands and knees begging me to believe him. It took a few letters and text messages she sent him and I saw for me to believe. Then the final straw was having her on 3way call and she didn't know. That was the BEST!!!! Found out the answer to most of my questions. Not all. But most. As for the rest, well, I'm choosing to let those questions go. I'm choosing to go with the no good cheating SOB one more time and if he does it again, I'll take him for everything I can get. LOL ;D
Hope this helps. ;) :D :-*
Re: here's the update newts: I have a few words for you sweetie.
LEAVE HIM AND NEVER LOOK BACK. He is a piece of shit!!
Don't torment yourself anymore, he just ain't worth it!
