Down & Out gatorgirl: Just got the news today... my husband has gone to a paralegal to fill out divorce papers. He didn't even have the guts to tell me face to face, I found a copy of the check he wrote for the paralegals services. I'm disgusted & hurt. The night before he had taken me out for a nice dinner and I thought we were going to try and work things out. He is 10 yrs older than I and what is important to him (drinking buddies) is far from important to me. In the end, our separtaion & divorce is probably the best thing for us both.. but try telling my heart that. It's broken in a kazillion pieces. I have learned alot these past three years. If there is no communication first and foremost... your relationship will fail!!!!!
Re: Down & Out ATLfoodie: I feel your pain gatorgirl. My wife and I separated 3 weeks ago and I'm 9 years older than her. Age is just a number. I wish you the best.
There are some wonderful people on this site that have helped pull me through some of my darkest moments. Use the site, vent, and ask questions. The pain may not get any better initially, but there is some good advice from people who are going through or have been through the same thing.
Re: Down & Out Dana: [quote author=gatorgirl link=topic=32024.msg322955#msg322955 date=1153709447">
If there is no communication first and foremost... your relationship will fail!!!!!
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Especially if it's the wrong communication. We communicated, I thought, really well, until I realized it was all lies. I look back now and see we talked a lot but it wasn't about the stuff we needed to deal with.
Re: Down & Out Ramsey: I'm sorry for your heartache Gatorgirl. I think all of us here know what that feels like. I wake up every morning with a dense knotted feeling in my chest. But it gets better. Albeit slowly. It really is annoying that our brains and hearts seem to be completely isolated from each other in the heartache department. I understand that it's over. I think I accept it. But my heart travels on its own time schedule.
I'm sorry for you hurt. Please feel better.
Ramsey
Re: Down & Out madmax: Men and women communicating...now there's a class unto itself.
We definitely had communication issues...I acknowledged my role...problem was, I wanted to work on it, she didn't.
In my situation, I can't blame the D 100% on communication...just a part of it. Maybe this applies to you too??? IMO it is usually deeper than that.
Hindsight is always 20/20 but don't beat yourself up over it. "It takes 2 to tango" and he had just as much to with it as you did.
A great communication book is "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It has given me some great perspective going forward.
Walk tall...
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