Wife's drug use, it is killing me, what do I do? jackie13: I caught my wife doing cocaine in our home! I thought that it was her first time, but I learned that she had been doing it for at least a week. When I look back all the signs are there. Locking doors, going to the bathroom all the time, sniffles, staying up untill 4 am. We have a young baby at home and I was trying to help my wife by letting her have friends over to swim in the evening. I would take care of the baby all night for her while she was with her friends. Last week I starting suspecting that something was going on. I got up and noticed that she was in the bathroom, she came out acting funny. When she went back outside I looked through the bathroom and found the cocaine. I kicked her friend out and went unglued on my wife for hours! It looked as if she didn't care. The last few days have been very difficult. She tells me that she wishes I was more open, and that it isn't a big deal. I don't know what to do! I am heartbroken, the deception, the lying. I was knocking on the door holding our baby. I know that she has an addictive personality and it scares me. She has not said that she will never do it again! She seems to be seriously making a choice for the drug over me. What do I do?
Re: Wife's drug use, it is killing me, what do I do? jackie13: By the way, I have lost all trust with her. I have gone through every drawer in the house. I look in the garbage, check the countertops, stare at her nose. I have been thinking about this constantly!
Re: Wife's drug use, it is killing me, what do I do? jackie13: Also, the friend that was with her, was the best man at our wedding. He got it for her. That is killing me. I told her that he not to contact us, and I never want to see him again.
Re: Wife's drug use, it is killing me, what do I do? jackie13: Also, she knew my feelings about the drug! She knows that it has hurt my own family. My mother and sister both had cocaine problems.
Re: Wife's drug use, it is killing me, what do I do? Deacon: Get out--now. There is no excuse for a mother to use drugs--ever. I would also suggest that she has been using for more than a week. Always trust your instincts and your "gut feeling." If you think she is lying to you--she probably is. If you think she values drugs more than you and your child--she probably does. You are the best evaluator of your situation.
Only agree to attempt counselling with her or try to work on the marriage after you have removed yourself and your child from this situation--either by making her leave or finding a place for yourself and your child. Also, only agree to work on the marriage when she has shown a consistent ability to stay straight and drug-free. If you did not have a child I would not advocate removing yourself from the situation--however, your child's safety and well-being come first.
Also, what kind of "best man" brings cocaine to a married mother and goes swimming with her all night. I think your wife is in a situation from which she will have a difficult time extricating herself. You can be there to support her without actually being there. When considering what you should do, ask yourself this, what would you advise your best friend, brother, sister or mother to do if they were in your situation? Good luck with whatever path you choose.
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