when the f--- am I going to learn?? superwife: So it's monday, time for sw's stbx vent.
So he finally decides to tell me today that he's taking our daughter to Florida (she told me about a month ago). And suddenly, the day has changed...a day earlier!! Of course, I was mistaken (I so know I wasn't, but there's no point in arguing). He says to me, you act all surprised that I am taking her on Saturday, so i said that's b/c you told me you were taking her on Sunday. When i asked him if he's going to give me the info about where they're staying, I get "we'll be ion Orlando, and my cell phone works there". Hello??? You're not going to tell me where you're staying? We went on vacation (to friggin camp, not really a vacation), stayed in the state, gave him the address and phone #. And I get, "If you need to kno, i'll call you when we get there".
Okay, I'm done fighting, but he pbviously is not. Is this a battle to be picked?? And if so, will I win? Supposedly he has a new lawyer (that he has not given me the info about yet...still, 3 months later), so what can my lawyer do? he refuses to be available to get served w/ the papers.
Honeslty, i don't distrust my daughter's safety, but it's just the priciple here. I'm just tired of being the better person and saying, Okay, stupid, take her a day early. I don't want to cause any more trouble. But I think he wants me to. Why else would he be doing this???
God damnit, I could have written this post a year ago. Nothing hasd changed...
Re: when the f--- am I going to learn?? Fjord Girl: Just insist on his giving you specifics about their whereabouts in Florida and if he refuses, remind him you're the girl's mother and that you have EVERY right to know where she's going to be. That is not creating trouble, that is being a responsible parent and if he is one, he will understand.
Re: when the f--- am I going to learn?? JNA: Nothing ever changes with these types...
If just more of the same...
Whether that be more cheating
More lies
More changing of plans or what they say
It never changes...
Promises by him to change are nothing more than a stall to buy time or give you false hope that he may change
That is why it drives us crazy...
Because we do the same thing (believe them)
Expecting for things to change...
It would drive anyone crazy
Talk to him ten years from now and see of he is the same...
Certain things about yourself you can change but when it is embedded into your personality change is highly unlikely to happen...
Stay Strong
JNA
SW wrote: I don't want to cause any more trouble. But I think he wants me to. Why else would he be doing this???
Exactly why you suspect...To cause problems or set you up to look like the bad guy if you do say "No"...
Then understand some people are not satisfied unless there is some drama or chaotic event going on in there lives...
If none is present then they create one
I know...My ex was just like that...
Re: when the f--- am I going to learn?? Deadfish: Yeah, my ex LOVED drama also. If life was good and everything went according to plan, she'd throw a gigantic monkeywrench into it! I'd say don't panic. Maybe the dude got stuck with plane tickets that left a day earlier than he thought he would. Maybe he didn't think it was a big deal. Sometimes I don't think things are a big deal when they are. Like changing the oil in my car... God only knows when the last time THAT happened...
Re: when the f--- am I going to learn?? superwife: Thanks guys. Dead, i doubt it. or if he did get stuck leaving a day earlier, he's never admit that there needed to be a change in plans. he'll do what he did (make it like this was the plan all along). Sorry there is a big difference in the words "twenty-ninth" and "thirtieth", and it would have been real tough for me to confuse the two.
JNA, you're right. I do have this false hope. I just can't imagine ten years from now, still goin thru this. While i am trying to be realistic that he will not change, I actually pray to God that things will get better, just so i don't lose my sanity. My prayers are falling on deaf ears...
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