I feel like I'm 16 NHGIRL: I feel like I'm in High School again with this new thing called dating!
I just recently went out on a date with a guy ( blind date, fixed up through friends). We seemed to hit it off really well and have been out a few times since the first date.
The only thing is, we are both divorced and very shy. Not a good combo! I know that I just need to relax, but I feel like I read too much into everything. When I am with him, I'm fine, I'm myself and have a great time. It is when I'm by myself that I start questioning everything. It is just so scary.
I really think that I could have feelings for this guy in time, but only if I let myself. And I don't know if I can or if I want to. Plus I don't really know what he is thinking. And I don't want to be that girl that says.....so what do you think about us. The fact is yes I like him and I want to take things slow. I'm not ready to get into a big serious relationship yet. Don't even know if I am making any sense. It just scares me to death to think about having feelings for him. And I think I could. What if I do and they are not returned or something goes wrong. I don't want to over think or overanalyze anthing, it just happens.
Also I don't really know much about his divorce and don't want to seem nosy asking questions. I know that his ex-wife was the one to leave just as my ex-husband was the one to leave me. So he is also very hesitant as well.
I feel neurotic and like I'm in High school again. Do you like me, check yes or no! I am just so cautious now about people, I guess I'm still learning how to trust again. And this is all new, I really only met him a little over a month ago.
Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Even if you just tell me to relax!
Re: I feel like I'm 16 chaotic: Relax, take a deep breath and start enjoying life and all its little pieces.
Stop thinking about every little thing. If its going to work, it will. Go with the flow a little.
Dont ask what he is thinking. Eventually he will let you know. I know that its nice to know, but the more you try to read him, the more you will drive yourself nuts trying to figure out what to say, what you said, etc....
Re: I feel like I'm 16 Deadfish: Dang, I was gonna write the same stuff chaotic did, but then I scrolled down and saw that he beat me to it! I agree, though, just chill and go with the flow. It's all good!
Re: I feel like I'm 16 single mother of 2: I know how you feel. I've been separated for 2 years and just recently started dating. I keep telling my self that I don't have time for a serious relationship. But the guy I'm presently seeing is ready. We haven't talk about it yet but, like you I tend to analyse. I don't feel the sparks with him, but he's a nice guy. The kind of guy that won't break my heart.
I'm thinking of breaking it off because he's getting to attached...and I'm not. I have kids, he dosen't. I have a house.. he lives with his parents. I have responsibility..he has a job and friends!!
Anyways, I guess time will tell!!!
Re: I feel like I'm 16 whythisnow: NH,
My GF is really shy and we have been dating for a 5 months. At first I went out with because she was cute and available. I think she really liked me more at first. But, as we got to know each other I really like her.
There are a million guys out there but only a few that show up on your door step like pizza hut that bring food. It's a great concept. If you don't like pizza hut try another delivery service.
Imagine if you could go back in time to HS and date knowing what you know now.. Well you do, but your not 16 yrs old.
So get out there and push your comfort zone and enjoy this great big school yard called Mother Earth.
FIDO
PS
Single mother of 2, loss that dork living at home with his parents. He sounds more pathetic then the 40 yr old virgin. Or ask his mom to do your laundry too. LOL
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