Why wont exes just leave you alone? newts: Just wanted to ask a question. I hope someone can help me make sense of this?
My ex and I broke up over 12mths ago, we were going out for nearly 2 years, living with each other for over one year. We broke up and 2 days later he was in a new relationship and engaged to this girl 8 weeks later (their relationship didn't even last 11 months).
As soon as he started seeing the new girl, I begged, cried and pleaded (I know, I know, very silly) and after 2 weeks I decided I couldn't allow myself to be this pathetic and cry and plead with someone who is going out with someone else.
He kept contacting me and I kept ignoring him... he became so persistant that he even turned up at my work (this was about 9 weeks after we broke up). Two days later I told him that I couldn't have him coming in and out of my life and he is with someone else and in order for me to move on I would like for him to stop contacting me. I changed my cell number just in case.
That didn't stop him, I would say every 6 - 8 weeks he would make some sort of contact, i would either ignore him or answer depending on how I felt at the time. This has been going on for over 12mths and I have been mean to him on many occassions and asked him to quit the contact.
At the end of last week I told him I don't have anything to give or offer him and I have many good friends and I don't need a bad friend in him... he came back at me with all these obscenities and he was down right crude, rude and very nasty... calling me a loser and a low life and s*lt, I said to him fair enough, you are entitled to your opinion and thank you for making things so clear for me and hung up.
I know this is really stupid of me, however, he really hurt my feelings and although I am feeling a little more comfortable with it everyday, I can't help than feel still a little hurt.
I just don't understand why somebody who tried to keep you in their life as a "friend", would and could be so dam terrible.
My question is "has anybody had a similiar experience and what do you think brought this nastiness and abuse on when all you were trying to do was get on with your own life and get rid of destructive people"??
I hope this makes sense??? I look forward to your opinions and advice.
Re: Why wont exes just leave you alone? snkpack: Some people are just ugly nasty little people inside. I can't explain it. I try and keep my ugliness right on the outside where everyone can see it. :)
Re: Why wont exes just leave you alone? madmax: Might I suggest a restraining order?
I've had ZERO contact with the stbx and I think it's better than contact.
I sure as hell wouldn't put up with the degrading remarks.
NO ONE deserves to be put down...especially you.
Re: Why wont exes just leave you alone? chaotic: Strange how some people act when they realize they f-d up. It for some reason is his way of justifying his actions to himself.
Apparently making you feel bad makes him feel like more of a man.
Dont let him make you feel bad. I know it hurt your feelings, but remember the person its coming from and how childish it is. Laugh it off and be happy.
Re: Why wont exes just leave you alone? rjack0612: My stbx wife has tried this "friends" thing. She calls about my son and then leaves these open ended comments trying to start a dialogue.
For example, she was taking my son on vacation so obviously, I was going to give her some money towards it. However, I then got hit with a judgement from one of our creditors. They attached my pay and took $600 out. I called to tell her what happened and explained that I now could not help contribute to the vacation.
She then goes into, "this whole situation is a nightmare for us. I can't believe everything that has happened."
WTF?
I ignored the comment and said goodbye. What happened? You cheated, you got caught and you left. That's what happened. It was not some cosmic thing that caused it. It was YOUR choices.
I guess, she wants to be friends. However, I don't need or want her as a friend. It is not anger, it is what would I get out of this friendship?
I STILL think she just wants to reliever HER guilt. I eam we have not really talked since last March-April. After everything went down. I asked her ONE time to reconsider. She said she needed time. I told her fine, but I would never ask her again and I didn't. It was over for me then.
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