Re: On a down slope :-( chaotic: [quote author=Crystal_Blue_024 link=topic=32096.msg324602#msg324602 date=1153923936">
[quote author=metaverse3 link=topic=32096.msg324434#msg324434 date=1153884758">
You're still in love..obviously...
The dog that left to roam, wants to come home..
The chance you hoped for is here..the tide has changed..the ball is in your court..
Now..I could be totally wrong here...with what I posted above..
Here is where you have to sit back and think...do you look in the rear-view mirror, or step on the gas and keep on crusing like you've been pretending to since she left..
Hmm...
[/quote">
You're right. Well, not sure if she wants to come home, but I try to keep in my mind that it doesn't matter what she wants, it matters what I WANT, and what will make ME happy...
And I have to keep my foot on the gas... I have to... Even if my heart's not agreeing with my mind... I have to... I can't go back to that place with her... It would give me temporary relief from my suffering, and a quick "fix," but then it would just be back into the pattern of hell that I've been going through for the past 6 months... I have to keep my foot on the gas...
[/quote">
Keep accelerating crystal! Dont look in that rear view mirror.
In my experience, once a dog always a dog. She would go right back into her old ways, thus causing you more hurt and pain.
I know right now, it hurts and its tough to think about other things. You keep having "what ifs" and "what will she do" thoughts. I say "who cares". You cant go back and change things, so "what ifs" are useless (except as a learning tool for the future) and now that she is out of YOUR life, who cares what she does. If she tries to contact you, dont respond. If she asks for her stuff back, tell her its boxed up and ready to go. She can pick it up on x date at x time because it will be sitting outside so she better be on time.
Dont give her the satisfaction of thinking she can fall back on you.
Re: On a down slope :-( Crystal_Blue_024: [quote author=metaverse3 link=topic=32096.msg324434#msg324434 date=1153884758">
You're still in love..obviously...
The dog that left to roam, wants to come home..
The chance you hoped for is here..the tide has changed..the ball is in your court..
Now..I could be totally wrong here...with what I posted above..
Here is where you have to sit back and think...do you look in the rear-view mirror, or step on the gas and keep on crusing like you've been pretending to since she left..
Hmm...
[/quote">
You're right. Well, not sure if she wants to come home, but I try to keep in my mind that it doesn't matter what she wants, it matters what I WANT, and what will make ME happy...
And I have to keep my foot on the gas... I have to... Even if my heart's not agreeing with my mind... I have to... I can't go back to that place with her... It would give me temporary relief from my suffering, and a quick "fix," but then it would just be back into the pattern of hell that I've been going through for the past 6 months... I have to keep my foot on the gas...
On a down slope :-( Crystal_Blue_024: I had such a fantastic weekend, even after the little episode with Drea on Friday... Then, on Sunday night Drea texted me and was asking about her stuff again, and said, "Then I'll leave you alone because that's what you want." Which was totally a hook line to try to get me to talk to her, she's used it before. So I told her to leave me alone. Then she texted me back and said, "Look, I'm sorry for what I did okay." I had to laugh, isn't that the most pathetic attempt at an apology? So I wrote her back and told her she was nothing but a liar and a cheater, the low of low, and she was dead to me, and that was the guilt she would get to live with. She of course texted me back and tried to blame it all on me, said I lied to her too, blah blah blah. But I just didn't respond again...
Yesterday, I found out through our mutual friend that Drea and the OW broke up and Drea moved back into her dad's house... Which of course is exactly what I figured would happen, her and the OW would split, and then Drea would try to talk to me again... The thing is, I have all these conflicting emotions going on right now, and it's driving me nuts...
On one hand, I'm glad that she's hurting (I know that sounds bad), I want her to feel pain and remorse for what she did, and realize that she lost the best thing that ever happened to her (I dunno if this is all what she's really feeling though)... On the other hand, I'm so hurt that she thinks she can just try to come back in my life cause her and the OW split. Like I'm some worthless piece of $hit that she can keep on the back burner until she needs me... And then of course it brings back all the feelings of hurt and abandonment from when she first left me...
I dunno what's going on in my head... I 1/2 expected her to try to talk to me yesterday, and she didn't, which is good, I know, but it hurt for some reason... I think on some level I was hoping she would try to talk to me, but why? I don't know. I dunno what the hell is going on in my head now, or what's wrong with me... But it hurts today, real bad...
:'( :(
Re: On a down slope :-( icwtsmnl: everything you;re feeling is totally normal..
but MOST IMPORTANTLY, STAY STRONG!! do not give in to her selfish manipulative ways. she never would have come back if she and OW didn't break up. screw her, she can live with her faults and lonliness now. you were great to not even respond to her last text. STAY STRONG. you will feel so much better in the end. she doesn't deserve you.
Re: On a down slope :-( chaotic: Once again that mean b!tch Karma has come and bit someone in the a$$. Some times it takes years even a lifetime for it to happen, other times it happens quick.
Stay strong. She was hoping you would be her soft landing and you showed her that you would not be. That is why she said the hurtful things. She suddenly realized her mistakes and that was the only way she could make herself feel better. Dont let her words hurt you. Stay strong and dont let her back in. She does not deserve it.
