Re: On a down slope :-( confused101: Let's go to fishing. That is a happier place. Except for the fish. They would probably like to be in their happier place.
Re: On a down slope :-( jadedangel: [quote author=Crystal_Blue_024 link=topic=32096.msg323736#msg323736 date=1153838519">
On one hand, I'm glad that she's hurting (I know that sounds bad), I want her to feel pain and remorse for what she did, and realize that she lost the best thing that ever happened to her (I dunno if this is all what she's really feeling though)...
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[color=navy"> That DOES not sound bad ...it is absolutely normal to feel that -- and do not feel bad because you do. The only way she is going to realize how she hurt you is to endure this. There is really no other way to concept it. She did lose the best thing that happened to her --- don't sell yourself short. She lost someone who loved, cared and wanted so much more than she ever provided --- As they said. Remember that --- and as you go through the emotions of dealing with her broken lies and hopefuls ... make it a point to not feel guilty right now.[/color">
[quote author=Crystal_Blue_024 link=topic=32096.msg323736#msg323736 date=1153838519">
On the other hand, I'm so hurt that she thinks she can just try to come back in my life cause her and the OW split. Like I'm some worthless piece of $hit that she can keep on the back burner until she needs me... And then of course it brings back all the feelings of hurt and abandonment from when she first left me... [/quote">
[color=navy"> Nobody wants to be a'back up plan' .. and you deserve alot more. I'm proud of you for not giving in and welcoming her right back -- simply coz "look .. she's sorry" ... That is crap. If you truly want to make it work .. make her prove her worth -- coz right now she's not too high on the scale. She has no right to disregard your feelings and manipulate you simply because you love her -- that is now what it is about. [/color">
[quote author=Crystal_Blue_024 link=topic=32096.msg323736#msg323736 date=1153838519">
I dunno what's going on in my head... I 1/2 expected her to try to talk to me yesterday, and she didn't, which is good, I know, but it hurt for some reason... I think on some level I was hoping she would try to talk to me, but why? I don't know. I dunno what the hell is going on in my head now, or what's wrong with me... But it hurts today, real bad...
:'( :(
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[color=navy"> I'm sorry it hurts ...and sadly .. this won't be the last time. Nothing is wrong with you .. you are dealing with a betrayal ... and a disappointment that is beyond what people are supposed to deal with. Pat yourself on the back for standing strong ... against her .. even if you didnt' feel strong within -- You head will work t hings out eventually -- unfortunately the heart tends to meddle a bit.
Hang in there.[/color">
Re: On a down slope :-( spooky: You're better off and she's jealous on top of guilty. Keep her away and just deal with the loss and hurt however you need. It really isn't bad by the way, it's normal.
Re: On a down slope :-( Crystal_Blue_024: You're spot-on Jaded... Completely spot-on... I'm trying not to put myself down too much, or feel guilty, because it's not going to do me any good... My therapist explained to me that right now it's important that I don't get too down on myself (I have the tendency to always see the negative first)... Because in all actuality, I was amazing to Drea... I loved her more than life itself, and cared for her more than her own family... There was nothing I could have "done" to deserve the lies and betrayal on her part...
It's like I already dealt with the fact that she cheated on me, and left me for the OW. I went 2 weeks with absolutely no contact at all, and I was dealing with it... But then all this had to arise, and it's like I'm back at square 1 again :(
It's just having all these emotions spinning around in my head is making me nuts... I dunno if she's gonna try to talk to me... I dunno if she's gonna be nice or mean... I dunno if she's done trying to talk to me for good... I dunno if she's gonna try to get back with me... I dunno if I'm gonna be strong enough to tell her to f*ck off if she does... I dunno if she even really regrets anything she did, or misses me, or if she was really just trying to get her stuff back... I don't know anything...
Re: On a down slope :-( 2be: [quote author=Crystal_Blue_024 link=topic=32096.msg323909#msg323909 date=1153851355">
It's just having all these emotions spinning around in my head is making me nuts... I dunno if she's gonna try to talk to me... I dunno if she's gonna be nice or mean... I dunno if she's done trying to talk to me for good... I dunno if she's gonna try to get back with me... I dunno if I'm gonna be strong enough to tell her to f*ck off if she does... I dunno if she even really regrets anything she did, or misses me, or if she was really just trying to get her stuff back... I don't know anything...
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That's a lot of "I don't know if she...." Thing is, you're putting a LOT of energy into worrying about what her next move is going to be, which is still giving her all the power. She is still directing your life.
next time she text's you, simply DON'T respond. ANY response to her is an invite for her to dump more crap on you. Don't give her that power. In order to stay inyour happy place, you need to be in control, and to be in control, you need to NOT communicate with her. Just because someone IMs or texts you, doesn't mean you respond.
Good luck... I know it's tough... I've been there.
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