hope it was worth it jh1528: For some stupid reason I wanted to know, so I went looking at all the past phone bills. You two have been chatting pretty much every day since February, as early as I can tell anyway (not like you would correct me if I was wrong). Good for you, I am glad you found someone that you enjoy talking to and spending time with. Too bad you were still married though. I guess that didn’t stop you, plans were probably set in motion then, to lose that zero husband of yours. That’s why you never came home since you left for work in January, and you led me to believe otherwise, always something came up and you couldn't make it home for the weekend. I wish you could have been more honest with me, this would of hurt a lot less if you had. Maybe you will learn a lesson from all this, and try to be more honest with the people that love you – so not to hurt them more than you might be already. BK is going through a very similar situation with his divorce as well, man we sure know how to pick’em. Good luck with AH, the homewrecker. Enjoy your life, I know I will. I was in a marriage with a woman who didn’t love me, and in fact she despised my illness, of course I drank and was depressed, my relationship was a freaking lie. In less than a month after you left me, my eyes opened, my horizons widened, and a contentment resurfaced that I hadn’t seen since I left (hometown), 4 years ago. I enjoy life, I had forgotten that but now I remember. I had something pulling at me, making me unhappy, dragging me down to a level that I wasn’t comfortable with. The fact that you didn’t trust me to raise our own children, thank god we didn’t have any, that you mentioned (to my parents!) that I would have to sign a f-cking contract saying I would do my share of work, are you kidding me. I would of done everything and I still will, just not with you. My life and my children will be as happy and as wonderful as I always knew they would. To be honest, I think raising children with you would have been a constant battle between happiness with the kids and living up to their mother’s expectations, and boy did she have some. I can see it now, oh that’s not pretty. So for every time I ever told you that I love you and I miss you since Febuary, I really don’t know how I feel about that, seeing that you have had a boyfriend for the last 6 months of our marriage. That hurts the most. You are not the woman I married, you are someone else. Your career has changed you into a lie. Never try to preach to me that beer, school, and video games came before you in our marriage; yes I will admit they were problems and I should of quit drinking sooner (I will gladly admit that), but for you, who put her job, friends, and family before her husband to sit there and make me feel like I was the reason the marriage didn’t work, that wasn’t fair of you at all. You had this shit planned out way before I ever knew about it. You played me into thinking it was my fault and it will take a lot longer for me to forgive you than if you would of just been honest and told me that you found someone else. That would of explained a lot, “I found someone else”. That would of made sense, but to start blaming alcohol and then not even giving someone a chance after they had 2 months sober, that is just a cruel mind game, I’m sure you had good intentions, but they indeed backfired. You are not the saint that I thought you were, you don’t belong on the pedestal I was placing you on, and our marriage was not worth the effort I was attempting to save it with. I hate the situation you have put me in, but I am happy that I have found myself again. I am happy that I have found friends again. I love this town and this area of Texas and I love real people, I love that I get to start over and look for someone else, I think women are beautiful and I treat them with nothing but the highest respect. Now I am free to smell the flowers, for this garden is full of different varieties. I am now free of guilt to start browsing the flower bed and picking the flowers I think are pretty. I can’t believe that I waited this long. What were you waiting on to tell me about him? I mean the least you could of done was to tell me that you were with someone else. That way I could of started looking for someone else of my own. I am finished with you making me feel like an idiot with your lies and your deceit. Please enjoy your career, and your Beau, I hope it was worth it.
J
Re: hope it was worth it sosad05: (((HUGS))))
Someday-when she grows up-she will realize her mistakes. She will realize that she should have been more mature and communicated her issues with you. My heart goes out to you. :'(
Re: hope it was worth it drowned: That was great because it kind of hit home for myself. Really....same exact focus on me was 4th inline to family, friends, and job. It's so right to say that she will find out her mistakes down the road and she will suffer from the guilt.
drowned~
Re: hope it was worth it trapped: Its crazy how theyre already gone but then twist it around and blame us. SO were kicking ourselves wondering why were so faulty and how we f'ed it up so bad and lost them but they were gone long before then. Its a twisted game to play on someone. Why not just be straight? They already ripped our heart out...why make us feel like a bag of sh*t on top of it? I will never understand it.
