I hope this helps someone...even a little chaotic: I, like just about everyone here, have had to deal with anger and hurt and a host of other feelings on a daily basis. I dont think a day goes by that someone doesnt post on here asking about how we do it. How we get past the anger, the sadness, the hurt. For many of us, it is still a big part of our lives.
Our friends, who mean well but have no idea what we are going thru, say things like "you need to move on" or "put it in the past" or my favorite "stop thinking about it and forget it." I dont know about the rest of you, but these methods did not work for me.
I have always been fascinated by martial arts and the philosophies behind them. One of my favorites has always been Aikido. When dealing with my issues, I turned to counselors and they helped, but what really helped for me was talking to my mentors in Aikido and my Sensei. They are the ones that taught me that you can not avoid the issues, you can not fight the feelings, you must accept them, but more importantly, you must know how to deal with them and use the energy in a positive manner.
So today, I offer up a quote that I found useful in dealing with anger and the other feelings that so many of us try so hard to fight.
[color=red"> "Do not stare into the eyes of your opponent: he may mesmerize you. Do not fix your gaze on his sword: he may intimidate you. Do not focus on your opponent at all: he may absorb your energy. The essence of technique is to bring your opponent completely into your sphere. Then you can stand just where you like, in a safe and unassailable position." --Morihei Ueshiba - Founder of Aikido [/color">
I will let you translate this in the way that most fits your situation. But my take on this is much like I say many times. Do not focus your attention on avoiding thoughts, do not fight the anger. Accept its energy and use it positively and you can win over it.
I hope this helps some one today.
Re: I hope this helps someone...even a little lunatweeker: well it helped me ;D
im thinking about getting into some kinda martial arts if my marriage fails
Re: I hope this helps someone...even a little chaotic: [quote author=lunatweeker link=topic=32515.msg331289#msg331289 date=1154556566">
well it helped me ;D
im thinking about getting into some kinda martial arts if my marriage fails
[/quote">
No reason to wait to see if a marriage fails. I think there are so many things you can learn that help in everyday life, relationships and divorces.
Re: I hope this helps someone...even a little Crystal_Blue_024: Thanks Chaotic... I actually keep your words in my mind throughout the day, most every day... I make myself recognize the negative thoughts I am having, "Ok, I am thinking about Drea, it's making me sad, but that's okay." And then I put the thought away... I don't deny it, or try NOT to think about it, but rather accept the thought and then move on... Sometimes it's easier than others... But I'm trying...
Re: I hope this helps someone...even a little abandoned1: I feel this will help. Thanks for the post.
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