Re: Just to be wanted.... Ciera: [quote author=trapped link=topic=32538.msg331617#msg331617 date=1154579359">
WHat do you mean? Sorry, I just dont know your story. I can completely relate to your initial post though. I posted this on another thread but the other day I was watching a movie and the main character was crying while she said "Isnt there anybody that loves me?" I realized I felt that way too. I just want one person to love me... to be special and irreplaceable to just one person. I thought I had that but I was wrong.
Point being~~youre not alone in feeling like that.
[/quote">
That's what I mean. I have never felt completely irreplacable, wrong or not.
I'm sorry you feel that way too.
Re: Just to be wanted.... trapped: OIC. Ok..I get what you were saying now. Well, the thing with thinking you had that and then being wrong about it basically means you never had it at all either. SO were actually very much in the same boat. And the boat SUCKS. I hate the boat. :-\
HUGS to you.
Re: Just to be wanted.... Ciera: Thanks. It does suck. HUGS! back.
Re: Just to be wanted.... CDNgurl: Bug... I know what you are saying. Someone here once was talking about feeling "undeserving"... but what you are saying goes deeper.
I don't want to go all psychologist on you, but this sort of feeling develops when you have a childhood like you did. Under "books that have helped you" I posted about a book called "the intimacy struggle".
It is basically meant for people who have not had a "normal" childhood and helps you to understand how you function in a relationship, and how you have learned to define yourself and your world.
In my case, it was growing up in an alcoholic household - but this can extend to any extremely dysfunctional home. It is things like feeling "different" than others, becoming people pleasers - choosing the wrong partners...
What hit home with me about this was discovering that I don't have to sit around waiting to be loved and validated... and understanding what holds me back in loving others.
This may not be the right resource for you, but I wanted to post this in case it might help.
Re: Just to be wanted.... Ciera: Yeah, maybe I will check it out. It's always been a problem for me. My ex was sexually abusive so it made what I got from my upbringing that much worse. Thanks for the recommendation and the reply CDN. :)
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