A New Happy Beginning............. Mazzalee: OK, well I know I haven't been here in a while, but I wanted to share updates with everyone on how my life has completely changed since getting rid of my husband back in March. I went through so much of what other people here are going through and feel that my story might give some of you a positive outlook.
I have delt with mean abusive men all my adult life. Married two abusers who brought my self esteen down so far that I actually believed that I was making these men crazy with the yelling and pushing around. I kicked my second husband out in March because of his abuse and nastiness. We didn't talk for a while and when we did, the feeling that I did the wrong thing started taking over my life. The anxiety was killing me and I seriously considered taking him back. the only thing that saved me was the fact that he was living accross the country, so not seeing him made it easier to handle. For about a month I secluded myself from everyone except my parents. Their house was the only place I felt OK. My girlfriend started taking me out and I started enjoying life being single, which I never though would be possible for me. I had never been alone, so I found myself trying to latch onto someone and realized I didn't need anyone to make me happy (something else I never thought I could feel). I was doing my own thing, taking care of my son and loving myself, so I stopped lookingfor anyone to fill the void.
Well about the middle of June, I went out with my girlfriend one Friday night (not looking for any man) and I bumped into this guy and just started talking. He seemed really nice and we just hit it off. we wound up going back to my girlfriends and just hanging out watching movies. Well that was the middle of May and we have not spent one night apart since that day. He is the most wonderful man I have ever met in my life (besides my father of course), and thats the other crazy thing, he reminds me of my father ALOT and the rest of my family says the same thing. He takes care of me, talks to me, puts me first, leaves special love notes hidden places I can find when I get to work. Just all around awesome. His family just loves us and tells us all the time we were ment for eachother and everyone says they have NEVER seen him happier. I'm just not used to having someone actually give a crap about me or my feelings. All that stuff has always been blown off in the past and taken advantage of. My son absolutely adores him.
All I am trying to say here is that I know that scared panicy feeling some of you are going through. Believe me I was there, I have got the worst case of anxiety and panic attacks around. It's so scarey to know you won't have that person to lean on anymore even though they probably weren't being much comfort in the first place. You need to learn to be happy with out someone else there in your life. I always thought what I had before was love. But it never was for me. I can say now that I have NEVER been so happy as I am right now and I can feel what True Love really is and when you feel that it makes you say to yourself "Why did I put myself through such hell all this time".
I know I am babbling on, but I just wanted to share my happy story with everyone. And by the way, my soon to be ex husband was thrown in prison in florida two weeks ago. GLAD I GOT OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP! He was bad news, but you can't fix people at all. I have a tendancy to be a major nurturer and I want to make people all better. But I can't....... this I realize now.
Re: A New Happy Beginning............. momuv3: Congrats on the new life and the new relationship. That is some nice news to hear.
That nurturing that you were talking about is codependent behavior. I have it too. My stbxh is an addict and verbally and emotionally abusive. A codependent feels like they have to take care of the dysfunctional person to "rescue" or save them. They can only save themselves.
I have hope that in the far distant future I will find someone that I don't have to take care of like that.
Good luck
Re: A New Happy Beginning............. thejoker: Mazze - that is awesome.. and you said there were no nice guys in CT...
glad you were wrong.
Re: A New Happy Beginning............. jannette Garcia: I'm so happy for you. Reading this gives me hope! I'm glad you posted this. Good fo ryou
Re: A New Happy Beginning............. Bird: that's wonderful news!!! really chuffed for you ;D
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