moving out day and im torn up inside lunatweeker: i have lived at this house for the last 8 years and so many fond memorizes
of
birthdays
christmas
thanksgiving
its hard to think that I may never return.......................
i know that our marriage councling starts this month but im not very hopefull that it will make a difference
when i look into her eyes it looks like shes made up her mind already
i just having a hard time :'(
Re: moving out day and im torn up inside abandoned1: Try to be strong lunatweeker. I know it's tough. My wife asked me not to be around as she moved her stuff out - partly because her new boyfriend would be there I'm sure. Total guilt. Anyway... I had to come home to a nearly empty apartment - alone. It was tough, but now, 1 1/2 months later I'm used to it, and have changed the place into my own. I've decorated it more to my liking etc.... Try to be positive about your new place wherever that may be. Look at it as an opportunity to make it your own, and to your liking. Look forward to building new memories with someone new, etc.... If you don't want to be, you won't be alone for too long. Just try to stay positive. Initially, I couldn't stand being in the apartment by myself, so I stayed active outside of the apartment by taking walks, going to my local coffeeshop, going to the gym, going to the movies, etc... until I was comfortable being alone. At the same time, I'd leave the lights, and the t.v. or radio on so when I came home it wouldn't be too quiet, lonely and depressing. Also, invite friends and family over - that helped me, again, until I was okay with being there alone. Best of luck to you!
Re: moving out day and im torn up inside lunatweeker: thanks for you kind words
the truth is im moving in with my soon to be x son in law and my 2 children
and its only 2 blocks away from our home
the apt. is huge and the kids will share a room and im not going to be that lonley
as for another woman to take her place ................i cant even look at another woman at this time
the thing is ...........if we dont fix our relationship i will move into my trailer in a town 30 miles away and thats when
i will begin to start my life over
the next 6 or so months will be like in limbo waiting to see if marriage councling will help
and if she wants me back
and sometimes that pissess me off that im waiting to see if she wants me or if she just going to throw me away like garbage
dont marriage vows mean anything anymore????
IM freaking out too :'(
Re: moving out day and im torn up inside abandoned1: Hmmm, I know what you mean regarding your life being in limbo as I am in the same situation now. 3 months down, 3 months to go. The big difference for me is I know it is over, and eventually I will be able to move on completely after the divorce is final - or at least until we file. I really need to see if I do actually meet someone (although I'm not looking) if it would kill my leverage in divorce proceedings, considering she has entered a relationship and is actually living with the guy, and we are separated. For now I just keep busy. I'll do almost anything with anyone to keep my mind occupied and off of her. Of course I have (and am still to a smaller degree) gone through the grieving period. And that's good. One MUST get those feelings out. Cry your a$$ off if you have to. Don't bottle it up. You're gonna be on an emotional rollercoaster just like everyone on OJAR has been on. It's natural. You come out a stronger person after it all too.
I shouldn't get ahead of the game though, as you seem to have hope, seeing that you two will go to counciling - that's good. I hope you don't lose your wife like I've lost mine. I really, really, really wish you the best of luck. And whatever the outcome, try to keep it amicable. My situation with my wife isn't, and it saddens me.
Re: moving out day and im torn up inside chaotic: [quote author=abandoned1 link=topic=32576.msg332091#msg332091 date=1154630526">
One MUST get those feelings out. Cry your a$$ off if you have to. Don't bottle it up. You're gonna be on an emotional rollercoaster just like everyone on OJAR has been on. It's natural. You come out a stronger person after it all too.
[/quote">
Absolutely correct! What does not kill us only makes us stronger...And believe me, this will not kill you. Divorces and separations are not terminal illnesses, there is an end to it, and we come out on the other side wholey different people.
Let out the grief, talk to someone about the pain. DO NOT keep it in. DO NOT fight the feelings. Use the energy for good things like bettering yourself.
