Heres that goodbye hr: Dear..........
You broke my heart. I entrusted it with you and you probably didn't deserve to have that responsibility, but I gave it to you so I am at fault to. I accept that. I loved you with all my heart and soul for the last 13 years. I loved you so much that I lost myself somewhere along the way. I gave you all I had and there was nothing left over for myself. I have felt lost, sad, trapped, and suffocated for so long that I couldn't even breathe. The morning I asked you to leave after we had the fight, I couldn't believe you never came home. It took me a few weeks to cry and hate myself, but now I feel like that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I can breathe again. I have had so much time to examine myself. I have even made peace with myself for my past mistakes and have even let go of the guilt I have been packing around my whole life. I truly feel happy for the first time since I was a young girl. My heart hurts and there is an empty hole inside me. Sometimes I all of a sudden get the most incredible sickness inside, but it passes. I think I will probably love you till the day I die, but I know that I am not responsible for you anymore.
All the times you left me and cheated on me you took a small part of me with you. Then when you came home and begged me to forgive you I lost a piece of my self respect. I am claiming that all back. This time I just don't care. It is not affecting me the way it has all the other times. I think I have finally grown up. I don't hate you this time. I don't want you to be miserable this time. I don't wish you a nasty vile death. I only want you to be happy. I realize that I love you enough that it is just time to let you go.
I will never be what you need. I took care of everything for you. It is about time you took care of yourself for a change. It is a big job and I am just to tired to fill those shoes anymore. For the first time I do not question what is wrong with me. Why can't you love me? What does she have that I don't? I know now that you will never ever find another me. I am one of a kind. I am not replaceable. You know that to. I see it every time you look at me. I don't wonder if you think about me. I know it appears that you are doing good and you are happy, but your eyes tell me otherwise. They are sad, but it is no longer my problem. I gave you your freedom no strings attached go find what it is you have been searching for. Make my pain and the kids pain worth it. (You are looking in all the wrong places for happiness, it don't come from who you are with, it comes from within. The sooner you learn that the sooner you will truly know what it is like to be truly happy)
As I type this I am crying like I have never cried before. I think they are not tears of pain, they are tears of relief. I think I am ready to start the beginning of the rest of my life.
Don't worry about me. I will stumble, but I am so strong that I will pick myself up again and on my way I will go. I do not know what tomorrow holds for me, but it dosent matter. I am living for today.
Re: Heres that goodbye anewday: That is a beautful letter. Truly beautiful. I hope one day I can come to the inner peace you have found.
He does not deserve you.
Re: Heres that goodbye momuv3: Awesome letter. I love the part of make my pain and the kids pain worth it. Thats how I feel about my stbxh. He doesn't truly look much happier than what he was when he was here. He pretends, but you can just tell. Pride will never let him admit otherwise. I hope everyone elses's pain was worth his "happiness"
Re: Heres that goodbye Spazz: OMG Still crying from reading it. Sounds like you have become an amazing person inside from everything that had happend.
Re: Heres that goodbye sosad05: [quote"> I will never be what you need. I took care of everything for you. It is about time you took care of yourself for a change. It is a big job and I am just to tired to fill those shoes anymore. For the first time I do not question what is wrong with me. Why can't you love me? What does she have that I don't? I know now that you will never ever find another me. I am one of a kind. I am not replaceable.[/quote">
OMG...this is exactly how I feel. This is a beautiful, heart-filled letter. Its so amazing that someone out there feels the same pain/thoughts that I do. ((HUGS)))
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