i give up hope is gone simon lacey: Today is the darkest day i have ever had to face even darker than when claire told me she did not love me, from talking to her today i know she is ready to move on she is in a different place to me she says she understands but she dosn`t. i am alone again in my apartment with my 4 kids at home with my wife. i cant lift my arms i dont want to blink, i dont want to sleep i dont want to swallow, i dont want to breathe, i hope i get somewhere happy , i am sick of not sleeping not eating, seeing her with a new life happy with my kids and the thought of knowing i caused all this,
i know today that my pain is going to carry on there is no end because we are over, i want to leave and walk away, and never stop walking i dont ever want to face her again, i love her to much . the only thing that stops me is my kids, but i dont want to carry on doing this
whats the point
sorry guys
Re: i give up hope is gone Lumpy: Buck up Simon. Life is not over, it's just changing. Hope dies but re-emerges in other forms. Think of your children. This will get easier as time passes. And it is rarely just one person's fault. I'm sure your wife contributed. Don't take it all on your head. That's probably how she wants you to feel.
Re: i give up hope is gone madmax: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=33087.msg340197#msg340197 date=1155496885">
Buck up Simon. Life is not over, it's just changing. Hope dies but re-emerges in other forms. Think of your children. This will get easier as time passes. And it is rarely just one person's fault. I'm sure your wife contibuted. Don't take it all on your head. That's probably how she wants you to feel.
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Absolutely true
Re: i give up hope is gone baffled!: I don't know you're story - but, man - you've got to get out of that apartment... is she living there with you? Why is she there? You've got to get out of there.
The worst days were when my ex - who had moved on as well - decided to stay in the house for awhile until the end of the month. I said no problem - big mistake. I was doing some serious damage to myself... she had to go - no if-s, an-s, or but-s.
I wanted her around - but she had changed... and I didn't know the person she had become... so I sat around and tried to figure out how to change her back - not good. The rest of the time I'd just stare at her and straight trip-out on this stranger I was living with. Eeek.
I know how tough it is - you've got some work to do... you need to think of you and only you at this moment. Focus on who you are and what makes you special - and work from there, man. You're not going to get anywhere seeing her everyday... you need to get away and work on yourself and get a game-plan together for your healing process. I really feel for you here - I remember those days vividly - extremely painful.
It's true - change is scary... but it's happening - and you need to get some tools together to manage. It will get better with time - you're going to be happy again... but this is 'you' time, man.
You have kids - what is the plan for them? - start there... start planning... if you're not thinking of the future you're going to veg-out and make this experience even less pleasant.
Start thinking about your road-map and write that stuff down - visualize it... you're dealing. Get a journal together - and don't let anyone else get it! - use it to get stuff out and let this all become a part of your history.
Wow - I really relate to your situation.
Re: i give up hope is gone Scott: Don't give up...........and make sure you freakin eat..........I wasn't eating either but you need to!!!.....find something that you can put down......for me it was apples and oranges (weird but true)......that was all I ate for like a month.....don't give up.....
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