Anger. I need advice sparks: I dont post much on the board anymore. I come back from time to time to get advice and sometimes give it. My divorce was final a year ago. It was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. I have gone through all the emotions and for the most part I am doing very well. As a matter of fact, I am happy with everything in my life except the fact that in the 2 and half years since he left me, I have not even had a date much less a boyfriend.
Ok now the problem. Lately, for the past couple of months I have been so angry at him. It feels sometimes that it consumes me. I have dreams (not nightmares) of destroying the house he shares with his girlfriend or destroying the truck I paid off and he gave to her. The anger and resentment are deep and intense. I have never felt this much anger, resentment and hate in all of my life. I dont know where it is coming from or where it is going and it scares the hell out of me. I try to take my mind off of it by keeping busy. We have absolutely no contact except occasionaly by email We have two kids so I have to. He abandoned them for the girlfriend and left me with all the responsiblity. I am pretty sure that is why I am so angry. I get so angry that I cry.
I am considering going back to counseling but until then how do I handle this and why is it happening now?
Re: Anger. I need advice momuv3: Definately get to counseling asap. I am finding that emotions hit highs and lows pretty quickly.
It understandable that you feel anger. Who wouldn't? He left you and your kids. What a jerk. But, he doesn't deserve one emotion from you except pity. I have only been separated for 6 weeks, but I go thru highs and lows. Mostly lows. I have alot of anger for him as well. But it only sets you back. I really am going to try and not give him that much power over me.
Get to counseling. It will help you sort this out.
Re: Anger. I need advice JNA: Sparks wrote: I have never felt this much anger, resentment and hate in all of my life. I dont know where it is coming from or where it is going and it scares the hell out of me.
I know...
Believe me I do
Some people make an impact on our lives that really changes us...
It changed me like no one would believe
You can seek counselling...You can do anything you want to do but the only thing I have learned that helps is "Time" and hanging around with good people like you will find here...
IMO
JNA
Sparks wrote: "I dont post much on the board anymore."
So Buck Up and post more...
I'm sure you will find a lot here that will know what you are talking about
Just my two-sense...
I have shown a lot of "Anger" here and am still accepted because we "All" know what it is about
Re: Anger. I need advice baffled!: Hate is a really destructive emotion - if it's been that long it's time to find some ways to disipate those feelings... are you angry at the fact that he's done this to you - or are you angry at the situation you're in... with the dating and what-not... sometimes it's really difficult to tell - but it's important to figure out what and who is costing you all this energy.
Anger is and important part of healing - it helps you take control of the situation and is natures way of fighting depression... you're fighting back! - use it to get you to your next level - but watch the hate - that's a real heavy deal and can cause you unnecessary bitterness and can corrupt your outlook on life!
See if you can manifest what it is you are focusing all this anger on.
Re: Anger. I need advice newts: Hey your anger is normal - you were betrayed by the man that was suppose to be with you for the rest of your life, the father of your children.
Betrayal is a very hard thing to over come, and it certainly makes it hard when you are left with all the responsibilty from a broken marriage. The fact that you haven't had anybody significant in your life wouldn't help either, however, good things always come to those that wait.
Just remember, you have done an amazing job of picking up the pieces in your life and your childrens life after such a huge emotional turmoil and you should be so proud of who you are and what you have done - every time you start getting angry towards the ex, think about what you have done and how you have taken on all of his responsibilities and draw the strength from the positives instead of the negatives and hardships he has cause you - it's all about you now and it has nothing to do with him anymore.
