She keeps calling Daddy!!! superwife: My daughter was never one to call Daddy on my days. In the beginning, he asked for him a lot, but got over it eventually. Got used to the routine. Now, since she's back from her 12 day vacation with him, all she wants to do it call him. She came back to me thursday, and has called him at least 5 times since. This is not a usual thing. I would never deny her the right to call him, but it hurts me, each time she tells me she misses him. It hurts for 2 reasons, and I guess they are both kind of selfish:
1- he is the reason she misses him (this was his idea). Se actually said to him (this time) that he doesn't have to be divorce to mommy if he doesn't want to be.
2- she does not call me that much at all when she is with him. And when she does, it hurts actually. She really doesn't have much to say to mr, and I don't know what to say to her. I don't want to belabor the fact that we are not together, so it's very short and sweet. And after she spent 12 days with me, she didn't call me like this. :-[
Re: She keeps calling Daddy!!! superwife: P.S. She gets off the phone, and says 'now i miss daddy'. I just kept looking at her, with no expression on my face. she says 'now don't you start crying'. I said, "I'm not gonna cry (and I really wasn't going to...I'm getting used to it). And she said
"Aren't you supposed to cry when i say that". (BTW, I cannot make this sh*t up, guys).
So she's trying to illicit a response from me?? Great...just like her father, trying to push my buttons...
Re: She keeps calling Daddy!!! smokin: it suxs no matter what way you put it.............
now, my daughters never ask to call their mom, but when they are with her sister, they call me as much as she lets them, which is alot.........
its weird how kids percieve things. maybe she figures if you cry, that means mom and dad get back together. i dont have an answer.
hang in there............
Re: She keeps calling Daddy!!! momuv3: how old is she?
When my first ex husband, the father of my kids, and split up it was hard when they wanted to call him. But i let them. Don't take it personally if you feel she doesn't call you when she is with him. She is probably just sidetracked and busy. I felt hurt too. I felt that I was the one dealing with school, discipline and other responsibilities and all he did was play.
It will get better as she gets older. Maybe if she wants to call just sit next to her and put your arm around her. Let her know you love her and its ok to want to call him. The last thing she needs to feel is that she has to choose sides between the two of you. And once she is a teenager you want to keep that open communication between the three of you. If you don't the kids find ways to play one off the other just to get what they want. We had that for awhile. The "if I don't get .....I am going to call mom/dad, etc" Now, its if they are in trouble at my house they are still in trouble at their dads and vice versa. No more playing both sides. Sorry got off track.
My point is reassure her that its ok to miss him. I know it hurts you like hell after what he did, thats natural. Maybe agree to call him once a day (if thats possible) before she goes to bed or something.
Just some ideas...
Re: She keeps calling Daddy!!! giver: Superwife,
I have a 10 year old....and throughout her life she has watched her dad leave more than once. She always missed him and would cry for him and want to call him more than she did me when she was with him. We are divorcing now and she doesn't ask for him nearly as much but she still does call him. I asked her one day, why do you always want him but when I'm not with you, you don't want me and her reply broke my heart and thrilled my soul at the same time. She said "Mom, I don't have to WANT you....I know you're always gonna be there. I don't have to worry about that." So you see, I don't know who left in your situation, but it could be as simple as her knowing you're always gonna be there and feeling that she needs to keep talking to dad in order to keep reminding him that she's out there.
Just a thought......Hope things become clearer for you int he enar future!!!
GIVER
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