Re: She keeps calling Daddy!!! superwife: She's 6 1/2.
[quote author=giver link=topic=33096.msg340356#msg340356 date=1155527231">
Superwife,
I have a 10 year old....and throughout her life she has watched her dad leave more than once. She always missed him and would cry for him and want to call him more than she did me when she was with him. We are divorcing now and she doesn't ask for him nearly as much but she still does call him. I asked her one day, why do you always want him but when I'm not with you, you don't want me and her reply broke my heart and thrilled my soul at the same time. She said "Mom, I don't have to WANT you....I know you're always gonna be there. I don't have to worry about that." So you see, I don't know who left in your situation, but it could be as simple as her knowing you're always gonna be there and feeling that she needs to keep talking to dad in order to keep reminding him that she's out there.
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I don't know if this makes a difference, but he did not 'leave' in the traditional sense. Yes, he was the leaver, but he kind of took her along. He never neglected her in the whole process (but sure he disrupted her normal family routine). She sees him 3 days a week consistently. She also sees the OW and her son, another thing that I have trouble with. Nt them, per se, but the whole 'daddy's family' thing. He has replaced me, added another child, and she is loving it.
I don't know if she sees daddy as an inconsistant figure in her life. I am just the jealous type that has always seen it as her wanting to be with him more than with me, b/c he is more fun :-\
Re: She keeps calling Daddy!!! thehitekrednek: Honey, she is just trying to see where she "fits", she wants to know how far is to far, with you. She is just being a kid. I know it stings, but it's all part of what you and she are going through.
Re: She keeps calling Daddy!!! jrheude: Supa, dont get down on yourself. Im sure your daughter has fun with you. If not, you need to step it up. I took my boys to the lake this weekend and neither one wanted to go home to mom. Once they did get home, my oldest was out playing with friends not even concerned about his mom. Its the time you spend with them and the quality you put in that matters to children. You seem to be a wonderful person, dont get down, get up!
Plan something special you and your daughter can do together, whether a trip, the mall, or playing dolls. Im finding the more time you spend on their level, the more they get out of you. My payoff, the less I think about the STBX.
Fill the void, Im new to this, but it seems like the only solution.
Big Hugs
jr
Re: She keeps calling Daddy!!! superwife: thanks jr... Well, we are going camping next weekend with some 'new friends' (yay!!!!). I am very excited about that.
Otherwise, it is very hard for me to do one on one things with her. She's not a big fan of it. And sadly, i am not in a good emotional or financial position. i know it shoudln't have to be a money thing, but with my 'princess' it seems to be. "just the park' is not goo enough, unless we know a friend will be there. UIt's just not good enough unless i am spending money. There are times where we do play together, and that is enough for her, but it's rare. And I know this sounds terrible, but I am rarley in the mood to play with her. I get so down on myself. I do better in group settings. The other night we were at my parents house and we all played 'princess' Monopoly jr. it was fun. But normally, I just feel so incomplete when it's just me and her. And I think she feels this way too. This is a major issue that i have still not gotten over, obviously. I have lost all sense of family...
