I Gave Him an Ultimatum startingover: I told him that he either gets rid of her, or he can't see the kids. I know it seems harsh, but both boys have autism and need stability in their routine and people in their lives they can trust.
Neither boy is verbal and can't say what goes on when I am not around. I know he is the father of these 3 kids, but their safety and well-being is more important than anything else.
If he wants to be with someone else fine, just find someone who is suitable to be in our children's lives.
Re: I Gave Him an Ultimatum startingover: Like hell I'm going to allow contact with the kids when he is planning to move someone into his house he met online sight unseen, who neither of us really knows anything about.
Re: I Gave Him an Ultimatum Deadinside: I am so sorry, that must be an impossible situation. I don't know what or if you have visitation arrangements already set up through the courts, I would talk to a lawyer before cutting off all contact with him and the kids. You don't want to do something to hurt you and them in the long run. As far as the stranger he is going to move into the house, if you are able pump him for as much info about her as you can and then see about running a background check on her. I know there are places on the internet where you can do that, or insist that he does it. At least it will/should give you an idea if this person has a criminal history.
Re: I Gave Him an Ultimatum sheydp: Do you have some reason to believe she would abuse your kids? If not, you simply have to trust that he will keep their best interests at heart. The unfortunate truth is that once you are apart, you don't have a choice who he is with, or what they are like. Your kids need to be your primary concern - but unless you really believe they are going to be hurt by it, you shouldn't take them away from a loving daddy. IS he a good daddy? If so - as hard as it is - you really should let him be with them...
Shey
Re: I Gave Him an Ultimatum startingover: I don't know if what I know is even true. She has already been caught in a few big lies, and that shakes my foundation of safety for my children. Given the fact that neither boy can speak, that is a big concern that my attorney shares with me. I have already talked to my attorney about this and explained the situation with the kids, the way visitations and holidays are set up now. We are in the process of finding a child psychologist to perform evaluations on the kids.
The majority of it is in my home due to their autism and his house not being set up for all their needs. Nothing has changed up to this point.
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