Re: I Gave Him an Ultimatum trapped: I think in your case, and I may be way off here by not being a parent and not being a parent of special needs children to boot, but I think in your and your husbands case there needs to be a bit more of an "approval" ( I use this word loosely) and integration process than in divorced or soon to be divorced households where the children do not have special needs. This is a whole different ballgame with these kids. I can see where your concern is warranted. If he doesnt even know the woman in person than how can he expect you to feel comforatable with your children being there. I dont think refusing to allow HIM to see them is the right answer but possibly refusing to allow them in his home with her while unsupervised might be more reasonable.
Tricky situation. Its an impossible situation for you to be in here. But I agree with Sheyd that to not allow contact with their father probably isnt the right answer and would only be punishment to them as well as him and also I imagine he would object to that strongly and swiftly.
Re: I Gave Him an Ultimatum startingover: [quote author=trapped link=topic=33098.msg340507#msg340507 date=1155564383">
I think in your case, and I may be way off here by not being a parent and not being a parent of special needs children to boot, but I think in your and your husbands case there needs to be a bit more of an "approval" ( I use this word loosely) and integration process than in divorced or soon to be divorced households where the children do not have special needs. This is a whole different ballgame with these kids. I can see where your concern is warranted. If he doesnt even know the woman in person than how can he expect you to feel comforatable with your children being there. I dont think refusing to allow HIM to see them is the right answer but possibly refusing to allow them in his home with her while unsupervised might be more reasonable.
Tricky situation. Its an impossible situation for you to be in here. But I agree with Sheyd that to not allow contact with their father probably isnt the right answer and would only be punishment to them as well as him and also I imagine he would object to that strongly and swiftly.
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I would normally agree with the two of you there, but he had a "friend" in the past that lived in the same apartment complex as the stbx. This was a terrible person, someone I did not want around my kids in any way shape or form. I agreed to overnight visits with the stbx under the one condition that this person was to have no contact with my children, period whatsoever.
I don't know what happened the night he showed up at the stbx's place, but the kids and I paid the ramifications for months. The stbx moved from there shortly afterwards and has not spoken to him since that I know of, but when the kids see this person on the street, they immediately start crying and get scared.
