Re: How was your weekend? Ramsey: I remember looking forward to weekends. Now I'm sort of scared of them. I made a few plans with friends this weekend some of which I did and some of which, to my own disappointment, I flaked out on. I had a good time hanging out with coworkers/friends at a bar Friday night. I got home too late so I couldn't get up to go hiking Saturday morning. During the day I went to a support group meetng, had dim sum with some friends from work and went to an amusement park with a couple of friends and their kids. That was okay. Later on I went home. I was supposed to hang out with another friend, but by then it was later and I was already in a bit of a depression from being by myself again.
And Sunday was a total wreck. Woke up and immediately began to cry. Cried for a while and then fell back to sleep. I felt bad about sleeping, but I just couldn't get up. I woke up later and spent a lonely Sunday afternoon by myself. Called a few people. Did some laundry.
I just don't know what to do, I can't hang out with people ALL the time. Whenever I'm home having to do chores, I feel lonely. I feel like I should have done more this weekend, but FjordGirl told me I should be easier on myself. Which I guess is okay.
I hope you all have a nice day. Take care.
Ramsey
Re: How was your weekend? Kitty: Well I had planned to be with children all weekend. My bf ended up not getting his 2 boys on Friday.... and my child wanted to go with his dad on Saturday night which made my ex angry. He wanted to go out instead of being with our son. He said some hurtful things to me about me getting a Saturday night free when it was my week with T. I brushed it off and went to a friend's house with my bf, played rook, and ended up spending the night there. I picked up my son on the way back Sunday morning. Everything went well until I called my stbxh to see when he was picking up our son for his week. He started off by being somewhat nice, then said some provocative things about me and him being sexual. I flat out told him I didn't want to be that way with him and that I loved my bf etc. He called me names and told me he wouldn't touch me ever again (duh! that's the point) but it still hurt hearing it. It just reminded me of the ugly person he is and it disgusts me that I was married to him and gave him a son and that he has absolutely NO respect for me at all. I exchanged our son Sunday evening and the ex basically dismissed me. I was quiet after that, the bf could tell the ex got to me but didn't say much about it.
We went to the grocery store and got home. I fixed grilled chicken salads for us (it was all I could do to hold it together and not bust out crying) I put the croutons on the salads and there were little bitty ants all over them. It ruined the dinner I had fixed, I put it in the trash and went and laid down. I couldn't handle anything else, ya know? I know the ants weren't a big deal but with all the other stress I just couldn't cook anything else. I feel bad because I can't deal with it all and the littlest thing makes me go into shut down mode when I'm like that. The bf came into the bedroom and said it's okay, we will get through this, and he went and fixed a new supper. I ate with him and he cleaned up. Afterwards he just held me until I went to sleep.
I hate making him suffer because I am.... I am not the happy go lucky person I normally am when the ex affects me that way. I don't want my bf to see the not strong me.... I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to ruin his view of me... I know he loves me and all that doesn't matter, but still.
I wish I could just go home and curl up. Is it wrong to want the affection the bf gives me all the time? The ex never showed affection and the bf does and now I crave it.
End of random thoughts for now.
Re: How was your weekend? Crystal_Blue_024: My weekend wasn't great either... A lot like Ramsey, I used to look forward to the weekends, and now I kind of dread them... I dread the idea of having to fill 2 full days with "stuff" to try to keep my mind busy... It makes me so mad and hurt that I can't even enjoy a relaxing weekend at home... I cried a lot this weekend... Cried for the weekends I used to have, and just cried because I hurt... If I was having a moment of not thinking of the X, the moment I realized I wasn't thinking about her, I started to think about her...
Re: How was your weekend? LostTeacher: i think if you talk to many people here, sundays are the hardest. for me, that's the case. sundays was always a day i could guarentee i would spend with my ex. we would do breakfast together, some house stuff, dinner at one of our families, and in the summer, we would get an ice cream, or go cruising downtown to look at the cars. sometimes we would go and look at some of the new areas of the city, and the new houses, and imagine if we could live there. sunday was OUR day.
now....that is the day i fear of all. it's a day where i try to keep myself as busy as possible. it's the day that i need to get over the most.
LT
