Rough Break up tripny2k6: In advance I'd like to apologize to the folks who are experiencing a divorce with or w/o children. I fell that my situation is extremely minor compared to that.
Anyway, I feel for this girl at work about 3 years ago. She was engaged to be married so I did not pursue in any way. Shortly after beginning my new job I was called up for duty in Iraq. Upon returning from war, we crossed paths at a local bar. I had alittle too much to drink that night and in a friendly and sort of joking way I confessed my crush on her that I had years before. she was now married of course, but we both laughed about it and it got blown off. I gave her my phone number and told her that if her and her husband were ever out an about in my town again to give me a call. At this point I wanted to be friends ONLY. I've always had a strict rule to not chase married women because I would not want that done to me and it says alot about the women in the first place.
That night after our conversation I had a major motorcyle accident on the way home. My leg was nearly ripped off by the guard rail it slammed into. Long story short, a week in the hospital and an entire summer back from war ruined.
I believe that it was the second dsay in the hospital that she called me on my cell. She had heard and wanted to make sure I was ok and if I needed anything. This all seemed very innocent to me as I had just made friends with her and her husband nights before, she was being nice.
The phone calls began coming in daily and before long she was revealing to me that her and her husband were splitting up.
Phone calls turned into her picking me up to go to therapy, etc. and eventually a full romance before her divorce was final. Yes I know, and hind sight IS 20-20.
so here it is a year later. we had the best relationship and love for each other than I've ever experienced. One HUGE problem, her familiy hated me and blamed me for her divorce. She never fessed up to them the whole story nor did she EVER take up for the love that we had together. It seemed to me that at 26 years old her familiy was very much in control of her life. Rather than accepting her happiness they taunted her and blew off my very existence, even though we moved in together shortly after her seperation. This all of course caused major problems for us. for the first 6 months her family did not even know we lived together, etc. So here I am, 29 years old, hiding from parents.
Anyway, we just split up about 3 weeks ago. I could see this coming of course but it still is very hard because even though we had problems with her folks, our relationship was GREAT. And I truly loved her more than anything in the world.
Just wanted to share and get some advise. I see now just by writing this that I cited more negative things than positive. This helps alittle.
Re: Rough Break up Spike: Hey, welcome to Ojar. Yep, all the red flags were up, but sometimes we just don't see them, or choose not to look. Sorry, man, hang out and keep posting, life does get better.
Re: Rough Break up Feel: How do you know she wasn't telling you and her husband shit!
keeping you on the back burner while she felt you were the greener grass and then not realizing that there was maybe another man, her husband feeling that he was the problem all along!
Why is it that the ones on the outside don't want to find out the true story before they jump into a realtionship with someone supposedly saying that there leaving their other half anyway?
Re: Rough Break up tripny2k6: You're right. I have no idea what was being said on the other end. I do know that she was leaving him because he was working like 70+ hours a week and when he was off he always went with his friends to bars etc. She also told me that she had serious doubts about marrying him right up to the alter but there was so much invested in the relationship, wedding etc. she felt like it was the right thing to do to just take the next step with him.
I just dont know why I ever let myself get into this situation in the first place. Now that I look bake on everything, I'm way smarter than this. But the problem is that I now love her, I cant help that. I miss her. But at the same time I dont want her back because of the way she has handled her past. Now she is doing it to me, and I could have avoided it by just using my head.
Re: Rough Break up chaotic: [quote author=Feel link=topic=33508.msg346757#msg346757 date=1156271889">
How do you know she wasn't telling you and her husband shit!
keeping you on the back burner while she felt you were the greener grass and then not realizing that there was maybe another man, her husband feeling that he was the problem all along!
Why is it that the ones on the outside don't want to find out the true story before they jump into a realtionship with someone supposedly saying that there leaving their other half anyway?
[/quote">
Yup, lets kick the guy while he is down.
I mean seriously, this guy has a real issue, he admits that he did not see the big picture in the beginning. Now he is here because of the same thing we are all here for, and he gets criticized?
[quote"> How do you know she wasn't telling you and her husband shit!
keeping you on the back burner while she felt you were the greener grass and then not realizing that there was maybe another man, her husband feeling that he was the problem all along!
[/quote">
Is this something you would have done, Feel? I dont believe so. And if we dont think that you would do something like that, then why would we think that anyone would have done that. Sure it happens, but we all try to see the best in people.
Click More for the next page.
