Can't walk away Feel: I can't just walk away from what happened, while he says to me that I walked away from him.... That I walked away when he started coming around, that the OW was there... well f-ck, of course she was
he calls, tells me how he feels, it hurts you know, but I can't just hang up, I want him to know he has hurt me and the shit he says hurts me, I want her to know that he doesn't love her.....
I want her to hurt and him to hurt.... he says he wakes up thinking about me and goes to bed thinking of me.... Oh ya I said to him but yet with all the time you had to explain yourself, you never found the right time, but now you find time to staine the floors in a house that she bought for the both of you... meanwhile showing our son his knew room!
f-ck YOU, YOU f-ckING a--hole.... you don't love no one!
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
I am trying to move on and I am doing my best... My NM is helping me cope and he has been there for me through this ordeal. I am greatfull for him!
And one day maybe I can learn to love again as I once so freely was able TOO!
Re: I don't want him to think he has done nothing.... Spike: You need to let it go, let him go, and just walk away. your obsession with getting revenge is holding you in limbo. Let him go, let her go, let them go, and move the f*ck on.
Re: Can't walk away Wherezmygun: Revange is a normal feeling we all want it. I found the guy my wife cheating on me with. me being in a position of power to where i know i can get him alot of trouble with the military, it would be easy to get mine. But i dont see the point is it going to bring her back to me No! just push her away more. I told her i was going to press charges on him, her responce was that it was her doing not his why punish him. Because it takes 2 and he should now better then to sleep with another soldiers wife , even more so a soldier that has my kind of power. but i sit here and do nothing and it burns me up inside, knowing hes lauphing at me. what is my point in my reply, well i guess its just to say that yet we would all love to hirt the ones that hirt us back, but what does it really do? yeah we might feel better for awhile but it does not fix why we feel the way we do.
take care-Ric
Re: Can't walk away newts: [quote"> I can't just walk away from what happened[/quote">
Oh yes you can feel - you just don't want to.
You seem to enjoy hurting yourself and the hard cold facts of this dangerous infatuation is that it is deadly and not only is it deadly, it's un-healthy, he is contacting you because you respond and he is loving every f**king minute of it!
The price you will pay for this deadly infatuation will be your current healthy relationship, you health and the stabilty of your children.
I don't mean to be harsh feel as I know you are hurting, however, there is noway in f**king hell if I was your NM I would still be hanging around and this will be his attitude very soon if you just don't accept your ex is an arse and he loves playing these mind games with you... while you keep answering his calls and responding to his pathetic emails with such passion it just shows that this NM means jack s**t to you and he is merely a distraction - you have said this yourself about his woman.
I feel you are heading for a breakdown... who is going to look after your kids if you have a breakdown?
Feel, he shouldn't be causing you this much grief? You keep telling us. you are friggin happy with who you are and being with the NM, believe 100%you are or just leave this guy alone, you are doing to the NM, what you say is so wrong with your ex. Work through your sh*t don't lead innocent parties along for the ride to ease your loneliness and insecurities that the ex has caused you.
Move on for your kids, not for you, not for him or the vows that he was suppose to keep... your kids are the most important thing here and nothing else.
Do yourself a favour, you may still love your ex, however, you know, I know and a lot of other people on this site know that he will just keep hurting you as much as he can for as long as you allow him to do so.
You are the master of your destiny at the moment, you are still allowing him to be the master of your destiny? Tell him he can pick up the kids from a mutual friends or families house (NO CONTACT, CHANGE YOUR NUMBER) if you go to your kids sport, stay on the other side of the field - it's seems as though you go out of your way to hurt yourself. He doesn't love you if he truly did love you, he would never have left you for the (hore)? He loves his kids and no matter how much he says he loves you there has been no ounce of evidence of this since you have been posting on ojar.
Acceptance and forgiveness and believing you deserve more is 90% of moving on. Vows mean't nothing to this arse - don't ever trick yourself into believing they did mean anything to him. Don't hold on to the hope of who he use to be - he is not this person and never will be, ever, ever, ever again.
Once again sorry Feel if this has offended you, however, this is at the point of no return, so why risk what you have for the fantasy or illusion of broken promises from your demented ex?
Re: Can't walk away Feel: Thank you Newts.
No offence taken....
I am not trying thinking of going back... I won't go back. Your right about being happy with myself... I hate myself! I hate myself because of what I let happen to me, now I have this wall that makes me feel emty inside because I am affraid to offer to someone else my soul as I did to him.
P (nm) is very supportive, he knows I don't want my X back... I never told P that I love him, and I am affraid too, but I ma not sure if I am also allowing myself to love him, but he does always tell me and he reasures me of a lot. The thing is I see myself pushing away his love for the sake of being hurt again....
I need to find a good counsellor to help me through the process understanding why my body feels the need to be hurt and not accept the happiness so easily!
Last night my son told me he hates me, he doesn't love me and he wants to go live with Daddy, it killed me, he cried so hard when he saw that I started to cry and I called my X and freaked out on him so bad... to the point I thought I was gonna just lose my son and me!
I am hurting so much.... I wonder if my son really wants to live with Daddy, but daddy always shows him a good time and gives him waht he wants... I give my son everything too, and take him everywhere, but I do my best to not let him get away with things... he tries to play me, but I see through it. he is only 3! :'( :'( :'(
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