Please help me... Jay_Jay: [color=beige"> [/color"> Well i have this girlfriend and i have been with her for 2 years and I'm going military Branch : Marines , in a year or more, But all she does is whine and all this stuff and her life would be nothign without me.. i mean she has nothing... but i cant take being in a relationship like this and i dont know what to do.. should i keep going on with her and have her live on post at my base camp or should i break it off and if i should break it off... how do i? i'm scared to hurt her i care about her but i wanna find someone better because she is nothing of what i would have really wanted but shes my first and i first got with her at age 14 i am 17 now and more mature and all she talks about is babies and getting married and im not ready for this yet, I wanna be someone and do somthing great with my life.
Re: Please help me... sadconfused4: Oh, Jay Jay!!
First of all, be HONEST with her and with yourself. I know how hard it is to let go of a first love...my first boyfriend and I broke up when I was 19, and I thought my life was OVER!!! BUT...it wasn't. It's so admirable that you don't want to hurt her feelings. In truth, you probably WILL. It's going to be hard for her no matter what, BUT...you are both so young, and in time, she will heal and move on, just like you will.
I think that the best way to break up with her is to just sit her down...and DON'T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH OR SUGAR COAT THINGS...and tell her that you love her...you care about her...but you know in your heart that the best thing for both of you is to break up. Don't leave her with false hope...don't try to be friends. It will be hard, but based on what you are saying and feeling, i think it's the best for both of you.
You will both be fine. It's good to set your goals high. You want big things for yourself, and at 17, you are JUST BEGINNING!!!!!
Good luck.
:)
Re: Please help me... Feel: Wow, Jay-jay,
she needs to slow down...
this is what I think... she needs time to live, experience life, just as you, how can you guys at such a young age be going through such serious relationships already.... I may have forgotten what it's like.
Always remeber though, be true to yourself, which will help you be honest and straight forwad with others. Be honest with her. I know you love her and it will hurt, but you need to live for you at this age.
The best thing is you going away and not even mentioning taking her with you... this is something for you! She needs to take care of herself and go to school!
Re: Please help me... Jay_Jay: :) Thanks to the both of you, This means a lot, I know im younge but the way my mind is, You wouldn consider me and a old person so ive been told, i just feel as if theres more to life and the best way to go in through military because ill do things most cant ill go places most cant afford i wanna be something great i want my named heard in distant shores without being a fake person like an actor or somthing... O really appreciate both your comments thank you so much.
Re: Please help me... bluskygrl: You will never be doing the right thing to stay with someone you do not love and want to be with. You deserve better/she deserves better even if she does not know it.
She will survive and find something more in her life. It is very unlikely that she would be able to live on post with you unless she was a spouse - but PLEASE don't get married for that reason.
Being a Marine is not easy and being a Marine wife is very hard at times and very very hard at other times.
Being a young Marine wife is both lonely and difficult. The Marines are not interested in wives, children, or even family emergencies except extreme situations. Several years ago the Commandant actually tried to mandate the recruiting of only single Marines who would agree not to get married in their first tour (4 years)!!
I would highly encourage you to either break this off now while you can and if necessary so you are still around to see that she will be fine. At very least go off to boot camp with a clear understanding you are no longer dating .
Then in the first months/year in whatever good forsaken place you find yourself - do not succumb to loneliness and start dating or marry her!!
Trust me this is a time tested formula for disaster. I can give you at least 20 examples of military marriages that began and failed this way - more if I think awhile!!
I very much appreciate that you value her feelings and don't want to hurt her, want to do the right thing etc... but, what is in this for you??
Blu
