Is it right..... Feel: Is it right that I am affraid to say my true feeling about my X to my family and friends, even here on Ojar because I am affraid that everyone will look at me and say that I have to move on, put it past you, you still thinking of him etc. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
I know all these things, I know that he is a jerk and doesn't deserve me, I know because I know who I am. This is why it's so hard to move on! It's hard because I don't want to let go of a man I bare my child with who was supposed to love me and charish me. I am angry that he hurt me, angry that I didn't take action when I was supposed to etc. I am a mess and I don't know when I will be ready to move on! :'( :'( :'(
I know it's something I have to deal with, but I am not sure how... I am depressed and I act like I am not... I want to stay in bed, yet I don't because I know it will be worse! I want to yell at the top of my lungs, but people will think I'm crazy... :'( :'(
I just wanted him to love me and respect me and follow his vows but he didn't. I am broken but unsure of who to tell because I know that some of you who have been thorugh say to let go... but how, I want to know how to let go of a love that you so desperatly wanted? :'( :'(
I can't stop crying and he says that I didn't want to try, but I know who I am and I would have never been able to let what he did go and we would have lived in torture for the both of us... I can't do that to me, to him. I don't want to live questioning his every move as he probably would question mine. :'( :'( :'( :'(
Why can't I just face it that I will never be with him and that she won my husband.... I know I may be the better person but I can't accept the fact that I loved him so much and he dosen't even know it... but even then I could and I don't think I could after all this and whats happened ever try again! :'( :'( :'( :'(
Re: Is it right..... JNA: Feel wrote: "Why can't I just face it that I will never be with him and that she won my husband...."
Because it "hurts"...
Because it shames...
Because it is not right...
Period!!!!
You don't know that you will never be with him again as none of us know what "can" or "will" happen
What you do know however is that he wronged you and this you need to look at to see why you want someone still that hurt you in this manner..
For me it was my "Infatuation" with her
I'm not anymore...
Pretty People can be Pretty Ugly sometimes ya know
Feel wrote: "I know I may be the better person but I can't accept the fact that I loved him so much and he dosen't even know it..."
He knows it...
Knowing something and Admitting it are two different things though
Guilt is a B!@#$ sometimes...
Feel wrote: "I just wanted him to love me and respect me and follow his vows but he didn't."
Here is your answer...
You wrote it yourself
He didn't do that...
JNA
People show themselves pretty clearly...
We are just blinded by Love sometimes...
Re: Is it right..... francesca: Don't look now hun, but you are already starting to heal...by telling the Ojar people your story and asking ALL the very, very hard questions you are asking.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you! You do deserve the world, a man who loves and cherishes you. The vows we all said when we got married, I have to believe, we meant them. Again, I am very sorry to hear your pain. It made me cry, and I don't even know you.
Your feelings are very raw right now, and you are looking for answers. It totally sucks that he did this and that you are left feeling this way. You have made choices that are ultimately right for you. He says one thing and he will always have that version. Remember yours! Stand strong sister. You have it in you.
Just in case you are wondering...I went through a divorce that was finalized January 18, 2006. He is with another woman he met a few weeks after our separation. For me, it was separation. For him, he threw it into high geer and ultimately divorce. WOAH, what a year (2) it has been. I have been threw every emotion you can imagine, a truck load of regret, and some HUGE disappointments I had to face head on. But you know what? I am doing great and I wouldn't change a thing.
Please, please keep talking to people, let it all hang out. It's what you need to do. You will surround yourself with the people who WILL be there for you and WILL get you through everything. It is the miracle noone tells you about.
Re: Is it right..... Feel: Thank you so much for your replies... it's nice to know that there aren't people who ahve healed that judge, that people still remember those most hurtful days and know how to say it with out making the person hurting feel stupid...
I always want to help, I find that people deal with things differently and what you may think is nothing another may think there whole world caved it....
So I thank you for hearing my thoughts and being there...
Re: Is it right..... Wherezmygun: I know how you feel im there with you and i too dont know how to stop loveing a person that 1. does not love me. 2 does not want me, 3 never wanted to be with me. so how do you move on from this? just like everyone else on here says Time! I hate that anwser but it has to be true. find ways to forget about him. get rid of stuff that reminds you of him, if a song comes on the radio and it reminds you of him, change it! look for things to keep your mind off the hirt and pain. I am very new to this whole giveing advice thing. I was a belive in how can a bunch of people who cant help themselfs and the love life help others, well i have only been on here for a day now and i feel 1% better then yesterday do i guess it works right.
I truely hope you feel better hang in there. -Ric
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