Finally, the truth!! saddad: I don't know how many of you have been following my story, but my wife dropped the "love you, not in love with you" bomb on me on 8/4. I asked her that night, and a couple more times since then, if there was anyone else and she emphatically said "no". Most of you know, I mostly believed her, but I'm not stupid and had my doubts.
Well, I finally did some snooping and boy did I find out more details than I wanted to know. She has been cheating on me, since June/July, and is madly in love with the OM. They both love and have committed to spending the rest of their lives together. Oh by the way, he's married with two kids too.
The crazy thing is, she's still trying to blame it on me. That because of our situation (all of "our" problems were "my" fault), she was in a crazy state of mind and wasn't looking for this to happen. She says that she wanted this to be over before she even met him. Somehow, she's trying to convince me that even with the new information that I know, that the divorce is not about the OM but about us (all problems are my fault). WTF?!!
She spent the last few weeks making me feel so horrible about what I've done to her. She spent the last few weeks trying to convince both of our families how bad she had it, and that there was nothing left to do. Both of our families asked her if there was someone else, and she gave them the same story. In the end, she lied to my family, her family, and even some of her friends. Her parents aren't speaking to her, and of course, and ideas of her maintaining a relationship with my family is over.
I kind of feel relieved, but also 10 times worse than I have the past couple of weeks. And I didn't think I could get any lower.
So now comes the issue with the kids. I'll be posting more to get opinions on that situation.
Re: Finally, the truth!! So_Lost: Man, I am so sorry. I knew something more had to be going on there. What a b*tch!
I went through a very similar situation, but without the kids. I just think its SO messed up how this always happens the same way...
SO1: Im not happy, I dont love you, its your fault..
SO2: WHAT??? I thought everything was fine??
SO1: Ive been hiding it for months!
SO2: uhuh... can we work on it?
SO1: NO!
SO2: Is there someone else??
SO1: NO! This is your fault!
SO2: Gosh, I am so sorry, I know I suck...
A month later...
SO1: ok fine, there is someone else, and I want him more then you..
SO2: YOU JERK/B*TCH! I Knew it!!
Why can't they just come clean from the start??? I mean seriously, what do they think they are doing? Saving us from some pain? Saving face? Are they ashamed of their actions??
Its the oldest story in the divorce book...
Re: Finally, the truth!! newts: Oh Sad DAD,
I am so sorry you had to snoop and find out this way - the reason she is blaming you is to eleviate her own guilt for what she has done to you - nobody wants to be the bad guy and unfortunately she has lead herself to believe in her own silly f**ked up way that you are the bad guy not her - Don't worry, people will find out the truth without you saying a thing.
You wanted to know, you found out and most of the time the truth hurts more than reality. You will never trust this woman again and nor should you - you need to find a way for you to keep your mind off this, believe this has happened for the best and start really thinking about what sort of person you want to be and the sort of person you truly think will be deserving of your love and the life you have to offer them.
She has made her bed, now she has to lie in it - can you imagine when it comes time when the kids are old enough to understand that she will have to explain why she truly left you - tough - that is karma enough for me and should be for you.
Good luck my friend, there is a bigger and better world out there for you!
Re: Finally, the truth!! CDNgurl: sad dad, I'm so sorry for your pain. we are here for you!
Re: Finally, the truth!! lilly10: I know what you mean about being relieved but feeling 10 X worse at the same time. They blame us and pick apart our faults so they can justify there lies and deceit. Yeah sure we all have faults and just as you did she did as well. It's pretty disgusting that they allow us to carry around all that blame while there out whooping it up with the OW/OM. The one thing finding this out will allow is a little bit of closure on your part. Sorry your going through this sad_dad. Oh, and I wanted to give you a big warm welcome to the 'your better off without em' club.
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