Re: Finally, the truth!! sneaker: Newts is right. They need to put the blame on us to avoid their own guilt. But they will have to face it one day, they can't escape it.
I'm sure this is a huge blow right now, but it's better to know now than later. This way you won't waste anymore time worrying about her coming back soon. You can start thinking about you.
[quote author=sad_dad link=topic=33539.msg347165#msg347165 date=1156335402">
I kind of feel relieved, but also 10 times worse than I have the past couple of weeks. And I didn't think I could get any lower.
[/quote">
Relieved because you know the thruth and you realize than you're not to blame. Worse because you feel betrayed.
You'll get through this! Be strong and keep posting. Many people here have
been through this and will help you.
Re: Finally, the truth!! sosad05: Sad Dad...First, (((HUGS))))..I am so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, one thing Ive learned on OJAR is that there is usually someone else 99% of the time when they say its over.
Like everyone else said, I'm sure she feels guilty so is blaming you for everything. A relationship takes two people to create and destroy and it is not all your fault. She obviously had issues. She chose a weak way to cope with them...finding an affair. She's not in love. She's in infatuation. Its new. It was exciting. Love doesnt happen after 2 mos.
Does his wife know? Protect yourself. Get an atty. Document everything. Good luck and keep posting. We are all here for you.
Re: Finally, the truth!! just_me_detroit: I've been following your posts. I am so sorry about what you learned. But at least now you know the truth. No more guessing, no more wondering. I still don't about my wife. I hate not knowing.
Re: Finally, the truth!! darkrose: Yeah.
"It's not you, it's me" means "It's not you, it's the other person I'm involved with.."
My stbxw was all like "hey, I'm just unhappy with the marriage.." which actually translates to "some kid is giving me attention online and I want to sleep with him because I'm so unhappy with myself because I have low self-esteem.."
And they DO love to blame, don't they. My stbxw claims I did some horrible things in my marriage. Some might be true but she kind of sounds like one of the adults on the Peanuts cartoons now to me.. "wah woh woh woh woh woooh wuh". :)
Re: Finally, the truth!! chaotic: She is rationalizing her own actions. Somehow, in her mind, the things she says makes her feel better about what she did. They all seem to push the blame on us when they are making choices such as this.
I know all relationships have 2 sides, but when they start blaming everything on you, its a clear sign.
While I am glad you now know the truth, I am sorry that it is not what you were hoping and that you had to discover it the way you did. I know it hurts. We will be here for you bud.
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